Coach. Podcaster. COACHCASTER.

Health coach turned podcaster, Chase interviews industry leaders in fitness nutrition and mindset. Messages to help you live a life EVER FORWARD.

Chase Chewning, MS, ACE CHC

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Chase welcomes Stephanie Moyal and Jake Mellman to break down the preventative, medicinal, and environmental benefits of functional mushrooms. They share the science behind lion’s mane, cordyceps, and reishi, why mushrooms are the most sustainable crop in the world, and how to make sure you’re buying high-quality, potent mushroom products. 

Are you skeptical of functional mushrooms? If you’re looking to improve your performance, cognition, sleep quality, or just try something new to boost your health and vitality, this episode is for you.

Stephanie Moyal and Jake Mellman are the Co-Founders of Troop, a wellness company creating daily mushroom gummies sourced and made right here in the USA. They’re on a mission to demystify mushrooms, make them more approachable, and make them super tasty, too! 

Follow Troop @trytroop

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • Stephanie and Jake share the story behind Troop, from growing mushrooms in their closets to hiring a gummy scientist to turn their vision into a product. 

  • They share the scientific research behind functional mushrooms along with the proven health benefits and uses of lion’s mane, cordyceps, and reishi.

  • Stephanie and Jake break down their highly effective mushroom extraction process, where they source their mushrooms, and the specific characteristics you should look for when buying mushroom products (especially online).

  • Why are mushrooms the most sustainable crop in the world? How can mushrooms move humankind ever forward? One powerful way is climate protection. Listen in to learn how mushrooms are being used to clean up oil spills and turn the toxic oil into new life. 

Powerful Quotes by Stephanie and Jake

These mushrooms have been used for thousands of years in cultures all around the world… And only now, we’re starting to bring our Western science into it and doing the research and doing the studies and actually finding evidence for these things that different cultures have been saying for thousands of years.

As many as there are plants, there are mushrooms, so it’s like as if our culture is discovering plants for the first time.

By helping people be healthy and the best version of themselves, they can show up in life and for their communities as the best versions. It’s really exciting to be able to help people be healthy and happy and do that for ourselves and our communities.

Recommended Resources:


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Julian Jagtenberg is here to talk about the power of breathing, retraining the autonomic nervous system, and how to use your breath to feel calm, improve your sleep, and boost the quality of your physical, emotional, and mental health.

“You can go for weeks without food, days without water, but just a minute without breathing, yet we never learned how to breathe properly,” Julian says. It’s true! We’ve grown up unaware of the life-changing benefits we can reap from optimized breathing and high-quality sleep.

So, let’s gain that awareness. Right here, right now.

Julian Jagtenberg is an engineer, sleep expert, mentor, and the Founder/CEO of Somnox, an innovative company that’s helping people to sleep better by leveraging technology, robotics, and the power of breath.

Follow Julian Jagtenberg @julianjagtenberg

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • How are sleep and breath working together? Sleep is a key pillar of health and well-being. Your breath is a tool that can be used to upgrade your state of being. Listen in to learn the science behind how breath impacts your sleep quality.

  • Everyone can benefit from being more mindful of your breath, but what types of people have the most room for improvement in sleep quality?

  • Julian shares holistic tips and strategies for sleeping better at night and feeling calmer throughout the day, from breath awareness to starting the stay with meditation. He also shares his daily rituals for good sleep, optimal energy, and emotional regulation.

  • What are the symptoms sleep deprivation?

  • Learn exactly how Julian and Somnox are combining sleep, robotics, and technology to improve the sleep of millions around the world.

  • Is cuddling or sleeping with a partner scientifically proven to help you sleep better?

Powerful Quotes by Julian

Everyone, when it comes to sleep, focuses on those 8 hours at night, but where you can have an actual impact on sleep is during the day.

I can avoid my jet lag from happening, I’m more in my energy, which is so important doing what I do, and I tend to be less emotionally attached to the external events that happen to me because I always check in with my breath.

Technology might become the solution to help you to sleep, but we should be very mindful about which technology we use in the bedroom and which we have to keep out.

Recommended Resources:

  • Oura Ring

  • WHOOP (get your 4.0 activity tracker for FREE and one month free membership)


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Chase invites Robert Sebastian to have an invigorating discussion about digital healthcare innovation and how we can improve the future of healthcare around the world. Robert sheds light on his company, Forward, and how they’re revolutionizing the healthcare industry to be more affordable, accessible, and affective.

Did you know that one in five dollars you spend in your lifetime will go to healthcare? “In addition to being incredibly low quality and expensive, healthcare is inaccessible to the majority of the world,” Robert says. 

So, how do we fix this incredibly unsustainable system? You’re about to find out.

Robert Sebastian is a Co-Founder of Forward, a healthcare system combining world-class doctors with advanced technology to empower patients to take control of their health. They build insurance-free, data-driven, personalized healthcare from scratch. Essentially, they’re building the world’s first long-term doctor. 

Connect with Robert Sebastian on LinkedIn

Learn more about Forward

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • Why is traditional healthcare reactive instead of proactive? Forward collects unique biomarkers and data points that traditional healthcare providers usually don’t. Listen in as Robert talks about the proactive data they collect and why they collect it before a related issue arises, i.e. gathering cardiac data before you have a heart attack.

  • Robert sheds light on the three major problems with healthcare today and how Forward’s framework works to solve them.

  • Learn how Forward is tackling its mission to implement universal accessibility and affordability in healthcare.

  • Who is the ideal candidate for Forward healthcare? Does Forward work for older people that may need more regular or long-term care? How much does Forward cost? Tune in to find out!

Powerful Quotes by Robert 

The real problem is that healthcare today is fundamentally reactive. 

Inadequate, expensive healthcare is an issue beyond the United States. In fact, it’s much worse in some parts of the world. And so, our broader mission is to try to build the world’s first healthcare for billions of people, for free.

I feel a huge sort of obligation to try to help humanity come out a little bit better at the end of my life… Forward is a shot at making one of the most important systems in our life, healthcare, massively better.

Recommended Resources:


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Amanda Bucci is back to talk about why it’s deeply personal to be an entrepreneur and content creator and what it means to be an authentic human in business. She breaks down the entrepreneurial archetypes and how they can affect your business, what you can learn from your old social media content, and how to better manage your energy to avoid potential burnout.

Amanda believes business and social media are the ultimate form of self-expression and two of the most powerful mirrors for healing and transformation. In this episode, they’re diving deeper into that…

Amanda is a Business and Life Coach, content creator, and Author of the upcoming book (coming out in 2023), “Follow: The Content Creator’s Guide to Being Seen, Facing Judgment, and Building a Thriving Digital Brand”. Amanda helps conscious entrepreneurs create authentic success in their online businesses through energetics, spiritual psychology, and leadership strategies.

Follow Amanda Bucci @amandabucci

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • Amanda sheds light on her content creation and entrepreneurship journey along with how she has navigated the relationship between her personal self and professional self.

  • Any brand or business needs to represent their mission and values. Redefining and reconnecting to that can be a powerful way to grow your brand and your business. On a personal level, redefining and reconnecting to your mission and values can help you get back into alignment. Listen in to learn more!

  • How do we know what we’re experiencing is an authentic thought, feeling, belief system that we actually want to share online? Amanda speaks candidly on how she overcomes barriers to authenticity and how she chooses what to post on social media.

  • As we evolve, we go through changes and we often implement them into our business. Chase and Amanda discuss what we can learn from past content we’ve created and how to integrate that into future business decisions.

  • Going from the head to the heart: What does it look like to be a heart-centered, aligned business owner and leader? Amanda gives insight into her creative process for writing her book and how that led her to deeper clarity and alignment between her head and heart.

  • Amanda shares tips for being more aware of your energy and managing your energy more consistently so you can avoid burnout in the future. She also gives her best advice for content creators and business owners.

Powerful Quotes by Amanda Bucci

People are full human beings with full experiences of life and the way that they’re experiencing their lives has everything to do with how they show up online… especially if it’s coming from a heart-centered space.

It’s helpful to be able to release yourself from the grips of identity so you can grow. 

You’re only as good as interpreting your intuition and your emotions as your mind can understand logic because there’s so much going on in our bodies that’s illogical. 

Recommended Resources:


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Oct 3, 2022

EFR 643: Energetic Alchemy and Self-Mastery of Your Spiritual Health with Taylor Stone

Rewind 10 SecondsPlayFast Forward

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Taylor Stone is here to talk about how we can raise the energetic, vibrational frequency of the planet by taking full responsibility of our own well-being. Taylor breaks down the meaning of energetic alchemy and how you can start taking action today to become the alchemist of your own life.

Taylor believes we are here on Earth to heal ourselves and to live the most joyful, high vibrational life possible. We are the alchemists of our own beautiful lives.

Taylor is the host of the Vibe Higher Podcast, she’s an energetic alchemist, frequency medicine healer, and activator who’s here to activate the light within everyone. Taylor has a fascinating background and world view to share with you all, so get comfortable, grab your beverage of choice, and tune in!

Follow Taylor Stone @iamtaylorstone

Listen to Vibe Higher With Taylor Stone

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • What is energetic alchemy? What does it mean to be the alchemist of your own life? Taylor breaks down what energetic alchemy is and how it can be used to transform your life into something new and more vibrant.

  • Taylor expands on the powerful concept of spiritual bypassing and how to eliminate shame and guilt in your life by utilizing compassion and grace.

  • She shares her candid thoughts on where most of us struggle in our emotional, vibrational journey and how to get your power back. “I do believe that people outsourcing their power is one of the main, if not the main, reasons why we are where we are,” Taylor says.

  • There’s power and wisdom in being able to see and observe things without immediately going into a mindset of judgment. Taylor notes that whatever’s holding you back from seeing and expressing more love and worthiness is what needs to be healed. Remember, you’re not alone. We all have things we’re healing from and healing starts with bringing awareness to what needs to be healed.

  • Taylor sheds light on her unique life story and what led her to practicing energetic alchemy, highlighting why she joined the Mormon church in her 20s and why she left. 

  • Lastly, Taylor shares a few ways to communicate what you’re thinking and feeling (and the importance of expressing that) to someone else.

Powerful Quotes by Taylor Stone

You have to have the self-awareness and that mastery in order to use [alchemy] and utilize it for your greater good.

Giving yourself grace, and other people, is underutilized and I think when we do that, we have compassion for other people, everything changes.

When you can clear the fear and… come back to center, get grounded, then you can become resourceful and then, you actually have the insight and the inspiration and the clarity and the momentum of what to do next rather than… staying in the past.

Spirituality without self-mastery is delusion, it’s suffering, because if you don’t take accountability for what’s being taught to you, and essentially run with it, then you’re really doing yourself a disservice. 

Recommended Resources:


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Danielle Ryan Broida is back to talk about healing adaptogens – what they are, how to choose the right superfoods for your body type, and how to utilize them to increase vitality, boost brain function, decrease stress, and so much more.

If you’re stressed, nutrient deficient, or relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through the day, adaptogens might just change your life! Listen in to learn the science and history behind adaptogens along with practical ways you can incorporate them into your daily routine.

Danielle is a certified holistic nutritionist, registered clinical herbalist, wellness coach, Head of Education at Four Sigmatic, and author of “Healing Adaptogens: The Definitive Guide to Using Super Herbs and Mushrooms for Your Body’s Restoration, Defense, and Performance”. 

Follow Danielle Ryan Broida @danielleryanbroida

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • What is an adaptogen? Why all the hype? Danielle breaks down the three characteristics that qualify a plant or mushroom as an adaptogen, how adaptogens affect the mind and body, and the various uses of adaptogens based on body type and lifestyle.

  • The quickest way to reverse the cycle of caffeine and/or pharmaceutical dependence, stress, exhaustion, and poor sleep is adding adaptogens into your daily life.

  • Danielle sheds light on the best adaptogens for performance, stress management, recovery, boosting libido, and boosting energy. These include cacao, ashwagandha, rhodiola, tulsi, maca root, goji berries, and functional mushrooms like reishi, chaga, and cordyceps. Tune in to learn more!

Powerful Quotes by Danielle Ryan Broida

Of course you’re stressed. Look what’s going on and look at what’s against you. And yet, there are allies… these are homies here to help us.

We can choose the right species for our body once we know our body and once we know the plant energetics. There is such a significant improvement in the benefits that that plant or mushroom has in the body when you have… done that correctly.

If we don’t have the resources or the ability or maybe the desire to bring something new into our diet, whether it’s an adaptogen or a new way of eating, we have breath that’s accessible to every single one of us at every moment and there’s so much power in a slight manipulation in the way that we breathe.

Recommended Resources:


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Brian Murphy and Ryan Seaman of Living Prana, creators of PranaCakes and BrainCakes, talk about the benefits of functional foods and superfoods in promoting healing and balance in the body. They also detail how their company, Living Prana, is supporting the world-wide evolution of mental health and wellness.

Stress is oftentimes all we know as humans.

Many people are in a constant state of stress and their body is so used to it, they don’t even know what it’s like to be in a state of balance.

Stress can be created in your home environment, your career, past traumas, an imbalance in the body, and countless other sources. Tune in to learn how you can reduce stress, eliminate brain fog, and bring your body and mind back to balance - all by eating pancakes!

Ryan Seaman and Brian Murphy are the Co-Founders of Living Prana, a company pioneering functional foods and building a nutritional pyramid on three fundamental tenets: Food as Medicine, Body as Temple, and Earth as Essential. They’re on a mission to make this world a better place, one pancake at a time.

Follow Living Prana @living_prana

Follow Brian Murphy @bmurphy22a

Follow Ryan Seaman @ryanscottseaman

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • Ryan and Brian share the origin of Living Prana, a product that was born out of Burning Man and fueled by a psychedelic healing journey.

  • The duo highlights the health benefits of adaptogens, such as ashwagandha, and how adaptogens, along with other wellness practices, can be used to bring your body out of a state of stress and into a state of balance. Chase also shares his personal experience of how adaptogens changed the quality of his daily life.

  • Why do we reach for foods as a quick fix, rather than a long-term health solution? How long does it take to see the effects of functional mushrooms?

  • Functional mushrooms are the superfood of the future! Brian and Ryan speak on the mind-blowing benefits of consistently consuming functional mushrooms, like Cordyceps, Chaga, and Lion’s Mane. 

  • When you’re integrating something new into your diet, especially with superfoods that have intense flavors, it can be tricky to stay consistent with it. Brian and Ryan share tips for integrating superfoods into your diet in delicious, enjoyable ways so you can continuously reap their benefits.

  • Health education and awareness are keys to enhancing the health and wellness of the world, but so are sustainability and transparency in business. Listen in to learn how Prana Living is prioritizing sustainability and transparency in their business practices.

Powerful Quotes by Brian and Ryan

Chaga - that’s another one that, for me, having used it for a number of years now, I’m on the edge of 50 years old now and I still feel like I’m 25.

It’s a conscious way of doing business. It’s a new paradigm… transparency [and] sustainability are two really important pillars for us.

What is necessary now is functional medicine, functional food. It’s such a relevant factor in where we are in our evolutionary process and so, we’re just super stoked to be part of the movement.

Recommended Resources:

  • Learn more about Living Prana and save with code EVERFORWARD15


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CLICK HERE to save 20% with code FORWARD


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Chase and May are back to discuss healthy relationships; the one with yourself and with your partner. Do you think your partner loves the gym more than you? Are you finding it difficult to get them on board with healthy food options? Do you argue about how you don't make time for them? Tune in to learn how Chase and May maintain their own healthy habits (and have for nearly a decade) as well as empower each other through clear communication to live their best lives individually and as a healthy, thriving couple.

Follow May @mayyazdi

Follow Chase @chase_chewning

Episode resources:

  • Join the Ever Forward Mentorship waitlist! Email "Mentorship" to chase(at)everforwardradio.com 

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Britt Frank is a trauma therapist and the author of The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward.

Today’s conversation centers largely on the topic of emotional regression: that all-too-common anxiety-inducing feeling that you are younger than your chronological age. Britt says that this is an issue that needs to be talked about more, because it can affect anybody regardless of their mental health status—even the most successful men and women in society.

Some signs of emotional regression? Indecisiveness, fear of making people angry, can’t say “no”, emotional explosions, wanting to be the “favorite” child/employee/friend, imposter syndrome, and many more.

Believing that “surviving childhood is trauma in and of itself,” Britt asserts that, “if you don’t grieve the fact that your childhood is over, you end up repeating it.”

At the same time, Britt notes that humans are a “sliding scale”, constantly swinging from equilibrium to one extreme to another and back again.

According to Britt, instead of trying to practice “self-regulation” all the time on one end, or being overly emotional and passionate on the other, we need to be willing to embrace a dynamic way of life. This way, we allow ourselves to consciously shift from one emotional state to each other, and from a state of high energy to a state of rest, acknowledging that how we feel is completely and utterly how our body wants us to feel in the moment.

Britt reminds us that “our brain is on our side”—that anxiety is simply a sign telling us that something needs to be addressed. This means allowing ourselves to grieve, as opposed to suppressing that grief, is what will ultimately lead to our healing.

Follow Britt @brittfrank

Follow Chase @chase_chewning

Key Highlights

  • Britt breaks down the phenomenon of “emotional regression”: those excruciating moments—usually taking place around one’s parents—where one feels younger than their actual age, and why many of even the most successful individuals go through it.

  • Like the titular character in Alice in Wonderland, emotional regression makes us feel too big one moment and too small the next: your “yes” was really a “no”; you feel guilty when you fail and guilty when you succeed; you feel like an imposter half the time and a narcissistic monster the other half.

  • Britt describes emotional regression as a psychological longing for “home”—by extension defining homeostasis as feeling at home in your body, mind, and heart.

  • Britt unpacks grief as it relates to emotional regression and lays out the four steps to healthy grieving. She also explains why she sees anxiety as a superpower that can help us get unstuck on our road to healing.

  • You don’t need to wait until you’ve hit rock-bottom to change. Britt shares how you can start taking those baby steps to turn your life around today, and explains why feeling “fine” is far from fine.

Powerful Quotes

It’s very hard to feel your chronological age every second of every minute of every day. [...] Anytime you’re feeling smaller or younger or less powerful than your chronological age, that’s called “emotional regression”.

Our nervous systems, our brains, are not wired to be in a steady state. It drives me bananas when people sell self-regulation as the ultimate goal of wellness. You’re not supposed to be self-regulated all the time! [...] All of the things we want—passion, creativity, inspiration, success—are all on the edges of human experience.

Balance is not the goal. The goal is to be able to shift between states to know where you are on the roadmap and to feel like you have a choice rather than responding all the time to things flying at you.

Time does not heal all wounds. Doing the work of grieving heals all wounds.

Some people may have it worse, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to your pain.

Episode resources:

Society has changed, technology has changed, the way we work has changed, everything has changed! Change can feel overwhelming or confusing, but not if you know how to change with it.

Allow us to introduce you to the one and only, Jason Feifer, editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine, podcast host, author, startup advisor, keynote speaker, and “nonstop optimism machine”. Jason believes that change is inevitable, but thriving is up to you… and he’s here to tell you how.

In this discussion, Chase and Jason talk about the present and future of work, what’s changed in the workforce and entrepreneurship space over the past two years (since covid began), and how to create opportunities and innovation in your life and business.

Follow Jason Feifer @heyfeifer

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • The pandemic has caused many companies to restructure their organization and work flows. If we focused less how much time people are spending working and instead focused more on what they produce, we can start to create more flexibility in how people work together. 

  • Efficiency is necessary, but it can be the death of innovation. Do you know what really killed Kodak? Facebook. 

  • Every company needs someone (or a team) whose job is to come up with new opportunities. The best type of opportunity you can pursue is the opportunity that is available to you that nobody is asking you to do.

  • How do ensure we’re moving forward in a direction of expansion? Tune in to hear a story from Jason that illustrates his answer.

  • What is Jason’s billion dollar question he wants entrepreneurs to ask themselves? He dedicated a whole blank page in his new book for this question: What is it for?

  • “It’s just so valuable for all of us if we can think about the cycle of change we’re in right now as the conscious cycle,” Jason says, “This is the one that you pay attention to, that you take notes on, that you have documented evidence… so that when you get through it… [and] the next time you go through it, you can look back and you can say… it’s gonna work out again.”

Powerful Quotes by Jason Feifer

If everything that you do is judged [on] whether or not it is perfect… you’ll never do a new thing because every new thing is going to be imperfect.

Something that I think confuses people and drives a lot of fear of change is that people feel like the new MUST wholesale replace the old.

I worked my job without knowing what the next job was. You can’t know what it is but I will tell you that if you don’t prepare yourself for it, then you’re never going to get it when the time comes.

Episode resources:


Ever Forward Radio is brought to you by Ketone-IQ by HVMN

Get your fuel from ketones.

Ketones are nature’s superfuel, proven to support energy, focus, endurance, and more.

Developed alongside the U.S. military and top universities, Ketone-IQ™ delivers all those benefits in one drink.

No caffeine, no sugar—just clean, on-demand energy for superior physical and cognitive performance.

CLICK HERE and save 10% with code CHASE


Ever Forward Radio is also brought to you by LMNT

LMNT is a tasty electrolyte drink mix that replaces vital electrolytes without sugars and dodgy ingredients found in conventional sports drinks.

CLICK HERE to get a free variety pack with any purchase

How do you find meaning and stillness in your daily life? That could sound like a loaded question, but if you take a step back and think about it, meaning and stillness are things we get to relish in every single day… if we’re mindful about it!

Eli Weinstein, a Licensed Clinical Social Work Therapist, is passionate about sharing tips and tools for no BS mental health, wellness, and everyday life. He’s here to do just that.

In this discussion, Chase and Eli talk about navigating parenthood, partnership, and your relationship with yourself. He shares his simple, yet powerful techniques for minimizing anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and the societal noise we’re constantly exposed to. Then, he sheds light on three major mental health issues the world is facing right now and why we should be aware of them.

Follow Eli Weinstein @eliweinstein_lcsw

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • Eli explains how to begin the process of “dating yourself”, getting to know yourself, and developing a healthy relationship with the Self. Remember, start small.

  • Choosing to not do things can be just as powerful as choosing to do things. He details the impact of stillness on everything from productivity to self-awareness and relaxation, touching on how he finds stillness with ADHD. 

  • The intensity of social media can cause our brain to go into survival mode, creating an internal stress system pumping adrenaline into your body. Turn off your push notifications, avoid mindless scrolling, and avoid picking up your phone the second you wake up.

  • At the root, taking care of yourself and enhancing the quality of your life is about learning how to just BE with yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings, learning to enjoy your life where you’re at (not through a screen).

  • When we isolate ourselves, we get stuck in our thoughts and we feel alone. The pandemic caused a lot of isolation, whether we wanted it or not, and that’s a slippery slope to mental illness.

  • Embrace your whole self, your inner and outer worlds, and get help when you need it. It might just change your entire life.

Powerful Quotes by Eli Weinstein

If you don’t know how to take care of yourself, how are you supposed to show up in a better way? Now, you’re not going to be 100%, ever. You’re not going to be able to know… how to navigate every situation that comes up, but as you learn… Can you pivot? Can you adjust? Can you go into yourself and figure something out and then go forward?

Do things that ground you every day and give you the sense of quality that you feel like you are living your life and not life living you.

With all the tides changing… I think, for the first time in a long time, the positive takeaway from covid is that people are getting treatment and help for their mental health and emotional stability.

Recommended Resources:


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What would happen if you approached both your relationships with yourself and your partner through a lens of curiosity instead of judgment and resentment? 

Chances are you’d experience more love, comfort, and happiness.

In this episode, John Kim and Vanessa Bennett share their best insights on cultivating a quality relationship with yourself and your partner, the hard work it takes to “relationship better”, and tips and tactics for overcoming the barriers to having a healthy relationship. Most importantly, John and Vanessa talk about the power of approaching relationships through a lens of curiosity instead of judgment. 

John and Vanessa, two psychologists, therapists, and life partners are the authors of the new book, “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better”. In its pages, as well as in this episode, the pair analyzes their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.

Follow John @theangrytherapist

Follow Vanessa @vanessabennett

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

Key Highlights

  • John and Vanessa talk about how to constructively call your partner out. The trick? Trying to understand before trying to be understood.

  • You’ll learn how to open up in a relationship and build trusting communication with your partner instead of sweeping issues and conflicts under the rug.

  • You don’t know everything about your partner, which is exciting! John and Vanessa break down why it’s important to get out of judgment and get into curiosity and how to go about doing that in your partnership.

  • Fire needs air, meaning if you want passion, you need desire, space, and an understanding of and connection with the self. If you do things for yourself that excite you, you’ll be more able to be excited by your partner.

  • Is it okay to fantasize about and be attracted to other people when you’re in a relationship? Tune in to hear John and Vanessa’s answers!

Powerful Quotes by John and Vanessa

Judgment and curiosity can’t live in the same space.

You’re either connecting with yourself or disconnecting.

When I think of what does it mean to be ever forward… it means living a life of fascination.  

Recommended Resources:

More about their work:

"Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.

Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?

It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40. 

In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.

The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.

It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.


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