EFR 720: Dale Moss on Resilience, Personal Growth and Setting Boundaries

0:00:00 - Speaker 1 The following is an operation podcast production.

0:00:04 - Speaker 2 What's up everybody? Dale Moss, host filmmaker, creator. On today's episode of Ever Forward, we talk about boundaries, we talk about finding your truth, we talk about how to understand the difficult situations in life that allow us to keep moving forward.

0:00:22 - Speaker 1 This is your number one source for inspiring content from people who are putting a purpose to their passion and truly living a life ever forward. I am your host, Chase Chewning. This is Ever Forward Radio. What's up, everybody, welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for being with me here today. I decided to keep the New York Tour train rolling. Normally this would be an episode with me, but I have just been getting so much interest from you all after sharing who I had in the studio a couple weeks ago that I wanted to just get these episodes out to you sooner. Honestly, it's not hurting my feelings. This content is just so damn good.

Today I'm bringing you Dale Moss. You might recognize him from his time in the NFL or, a couple years ago, being on reality TV, but he's on quite a different mission now. Well, i should say he's always been on this mission. At least my takeaway from him is that this mission of doing good and doing good for others that might not have the skill sets or even physical capabilities to do it themselves or to advocate for themselves, he's always been about that life. Now he is just on a mission in a big, big way to elevate it, to advance it, to support it, because he has had so much support from so many other people along the way. I love seeing a guy like Dale pay it forward.

Today's episode we're talking about Dale's journey of resilience and courage. He shares his story of growing up in a difficult, segregated even environment and how his parents instilled in him the belief that he was meant for more The through line here. one of the things that Dale gives a lot of credit to, and how he has been able to face adversities and bounce back from setbacks, is establishing and keeping healthy boundaries with himself for himself, but also people around him. Talking about setting boundaries and how it can actually accelerate personal growth and even mental health. We talk about prioritizing family spirituality and how we all can stay motivated to maintain a well-trained body and mind. All of this stuff just hits home hard for me because it just feels so embodied in the mantra of living a life ever forward, which is why this episode has to get out right now.

I was in studio with Dale, so if you wanna check out the video, i have this link for you down in the show notes under episode resources. Make sure to find us on YouTube. You can subscribe and smash that thumbs up button. Let us know what you like about it and just really would love to see over there on YouTube. We continue to grow the video content more and more for you guys, so it's available there on YouTube, or you can always find all of the things for every episode and everything going on at EverFordRadio, at everforwardradiocom.

Like I said, i caught up with Dale during my recent travels to New York City, and when I'm traveling, there are quite a few things that I try to keep up with that keep me in my routine, that keep me on my game, that keep my health, my wellness, my mindset, my energy just flowing, because when we're traveling out of our routine and some of these things kinda tend to go out the window For me, i also needed to make sure that I was looking my best. There's feeling your best and then looking your best. Both take work. Well, today's sponsor, caldera Lab, takes a lot of the work out of looking my best, because they just have changed the game in terms of skincare and they make it so damn easy. Look, guys, listen, if you don't have a skincare routine, i'm here to tell you. you don't need to worry about doing all of the things because Caldera Lab. they have simplified it in so many ways with trusted, scientifically backed, safe products.

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The biggest takeaway for me was I just noticed an overall more even skin tone, reduced redness, and it just for me, is a game changer. Now they have everything else you might be looking for face wash, moisturizer under eye cream, face mask, even got a new bar soap out there and, as an exclusive partner here on the show, we're actually passing back a 20% off savings. All you need to do is head to calderalabcom slash Chase to claim your 20% savings. If you don't see results within 60 days, you get 100% of your money back. Plus, you know, i really had to make sure I was on my A game in terms of my skincare. because, man, because Dale's actually a professional model. so you know, i had to try to be on point as possible. Thanks, caldera Lab for continuing to partner with EverFord Radio. Okay, here we go. Let's jump into today's episode with Dale Moss.

0:05:37 - Speaker 2 Yeah, and I'm grateful to be here, obviously very excited to hop on. It's been a while since I've done a podcast.

0:05:43 - Speaker 1 You didn't give me a lot of homework, yeah.

0:05:45 - Speaker 2 I went to work to focus on it.

0:05:46 - Speaker 1 I was doing my research and I'm like shit, this guy's been in my A in the podcast world a little bit.

0:05:50 - Speaker 2 I've been in that like focused stage and it's been one of the best things for me, so the good thing is we can talk about all of it during this session, You know.

0:05:59 - Speaker 1 so that kind of leads me into. I try to keep it fresh, try to keep it really, you know, recent. You posted this quote on your Instagram store the other day that I think kind of pairs well with what you're talking about. You knew you've had your head down a little bit. You've been doing the work, You're building a lot of cool things, which we'll get into some of it. This quote from Joshua Graham I survive because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.

0:06:23 - Speaker 2 Yeah.

0:06:24 - Speaker 1 What was the inspiration behind?

0:06:25 - Speaker 2 sharing that. I mean, that's one of my favorite quotes, without a doubt, and I think you know, when I first saw it, it really related to just me as a kid, coming up in an environment that I was in that seemed so chaotic. You know, there was so much going on And I don't know. I think that it prepared me so much at a young age for life now and to be able to handle things. And be able to handle things and keep moving forward Right. So I'm a firm believer that you know, the world keeps moving And I've seen that from a young age.

You know, by the time I was in high school I had to prepare and come to the reality that you know I may never see my father again, unless it was behind bars.

you know I had to prepare to lose almost everyone in my family, whether that was, you know, through death or, you know, being taken away from us.

And that's just because my parents really struggled at a young age. when I was younger, my dad suffered from alcohol and heroin addictions, spent a lot of time in and out of prison up to the time I was 21 years old, and even with all of those things, i think one of the greatest gifts that my parents instilled into me and they've told this to, you know, all my sisters as well is like you're meant for so much more just because we're going through situations and things like this in life. Just know that you're meant for so much more. And it was profound because it allowed me to see them as human and understand that they loved us and they would do, they did everything to keep our family together and provide for us. But it was the reality that people go through different things in life And for me, I think that accepting and seeing that with the people I love and cared about the most is just something that allowed me to have an understanding approach to you.

0:08:46 - Speaker 1 know, anything that comes my way, man, i didn't think I was going to get my feel so soon for this conversation, but I mean the second. You kind of shared that with me. It took me back to a very similar moment I had around the same age with my father. I was sharing with you actually forgive me, i don't know if I told you this directly, but ever forward was my father's mantra Yep, yep, yeah. And what you know he had about with ALS, lost about. Obviously it's a terminal illness. But I had this moment, this kind of realization moment as well, just to kind of share with you.

You know this backstory as well. When he told me that he was sick and he was dying, i had just left home. I was 18 years old, i had just joined the military. I was thousands of miles away now challenging my decision to leave home, now challenging my decision to you know, did I make the right choice? Am I on the right path? How could I leave my family during this time of need? And I actually began to separate from the military And once my father found out, literally the last few days, that he could physically walk and talk by himself, he flew across the country to not talk me out of that decision to just do exactly what it sounds like your family did with you To go hey, chase, no, you are meant for so much more. Just because my story is ending this way doesn't mean that yours has to end before it ever begins. And man, talk about a sobering experience when you're 19, 20, you were 21 years old.

0:10:23 - Speaker 2 I mean this honestly happened, like some of my first memories are with my dad in prison And this is something that happened, you know, and again I'm very happy to say that my dad has definitely changed his life around. That's awesome, but I remember like seeing that at such a young age and I'm Dale Jr you know my dad's name is Dale, but I've always had to be the man of the house and I have four sisters.

I'm the only boy And I've understood and taken that responsibility And I think, you know, going back to the quote, when the fire inside me was like I had to keep going because there's nothing that could hurt worse or burn me, you know, like at my core, than if I let my family down and if I gave up and I don't know how to do that. you know I can't do that. If I did that, like our family wouldn't be together.

0:11:20 - Speaker 1 So was that then, kind of? was that then the drive behind not only just doing something with your life, but doing it at the highest level, pursuing professional sports, was it? I gotta achieve and perform at that level, or bust?

0:11:37 - Speaker 2 Honestly it was. I just wanted to make my family proud And I will say I don't operate out of fear. I think we all have fearful moments but you know, sometimes our greatest strength is our greatest weakness. But one of my strengths is being able to handle a lot of very, very stressful things and keep moving forward because I didn't have any option. But you know, i also am someone who's very motivated by possibilities. I'm not afraid of failing, i'm afraid I just want to make the right choice.

But sports was naturally something that I always gravitated to. My mom played on a US national basketball team that traveled to globe. She was my idol. And in South Dakota, where I grew up, it was very, very segregated. We were one of the only. We were the only biracial family. You know black kids, only My mom's side. You know my grandfather told her to never come back home because of biracial marriage And from the time I was a kid, our entire family and myself was always judged.

We were always outcast. You know I've been called nigga more than I know what to do with by the time I was in elementary school And those things never like fazed me, you know, because I knew what we had as a family. But I also think I love sports so much because that was a barrier that opened a lot of doors right And I think people saw me and my family in a different way because they could relate and there was some excitement and I've always played at a very, very high level And it was honestly my escape and my release from anything else that was going on in my life, so that was like therapy for me.

0:13:31 - Speaker 1 Would you say in your experience stepping out into the field, putting on that jersey, how, even practicing, just I mean, you're at the top of the top, right, yeah? yeah, i had some other NFL players on the show. One of my best friends is a former NFL guy and he had a very different approach to it. It doesn't sound like it's the same, but you know what, when you put on the jersey, step out on the field, you still have your teammates. You got thousands of people cheering for you, you've got cameras, you've got eyes on. How did you not get caught up, like a lot of people do when you're when, like when you made it, you know, cause it sounds like you were still a very grounded and experienced, i don't know.

0:14:12 - Speaker 2 I think it goes back to my childhood. you know, i knew that people could you could do everything right and people would judge you. They could, you know, hate you for the wrong reasons. And sports was my outlet and it's something that I wanted to do, and I did it not for notoriety, it's cause I love the work, i love the teammates, i love the competition, and that's something that I always held on to. And I also was very aware that, like, things in life can change in an instant And you know, what's promised today or what you think you have today, isn't always there tomorrow. And I've also experienced, just in life, how quickly people's opinions can change right, so How fast we can be swayed. huh, yeah, yeah, without a doubt, without a doubt. But I never had a fear of getting caught up and I think I've been fortunate to be pretty grounded throughout my entire life, and a lot of that goes to my parents you know, Even if we had some very stressful situations in life, you know scrape at the bottom of the barrel.

They raised us right and we always had unconditional love.

0:15:27 - Speaker 1 You know, i feel that I relate to that a lot and it kind of reminds me of in certain circumstances I've been asked, you know, how do you deal with this pressure? How do you deal with that failure? How did you deal with death? How did you deal with all these things that my story has been And correct me if I'm wrong, man but it kind of feels like we don't have the answer. It's just ultimately has to be gratitude for the nature and nurture we had. Yep, how do you kind of wrap your head around that? Have you and kind of gone? I don't have a clear answer as to how I can endure such terrible, difficult things. It's just because of those before me. How do you even translate that to some people?

0:16:11 - Speaker 2 You know, i was thinking about this before the podcast and there was a long time where I was like damn, i feel so numb, like I don't have emotion. And over time I realized I was not numb, i was just conditioned to endure some very heavy moments. I was seasoned, i was experienced. Wow, that's huge. And I think what really did it for me? because I could approach things, because the first experience was with my parents and our situation in life And I could pull myself out of that as a kid and understand that there's a lot of other things that work Really that young, that young like, and not judge them and not blame them and really just take an approach of understanding. It has really really allowed me to navigate a lot of different things in life And I look at what I've been through now I'll be 35, but I've dealt with a lot of shit over the years.

I remember I had to pull my mom off life support. It was something that I knew my dad couldn't do. It would have ruined him. My sister I couldn't put that responsibility on her, even as a kid. My sister, amber, who has physical and intellectual disabilities, like birthday, by the way.

0:17:39 - Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, it was her birthday as well Yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the big 40.

0:17:42 - Speaker 2 Happy birthday, amber. But we had to prepare for her to lose her life numerous times as a kid And I think again, the way I was able to endure is because I didn't do it alone. I think the more I think about it because we all had to go and do this together And we knew that you couldn't do it alone. So it just prepared me at a younger young age And it also the darkest moments and the lowest moments that I thought I had. At that time I realized that they passed right Damn. Yeah, you know I might be dead.

0:18:17 - Speaker 1 I'm here reflecting on them. I'm not still in them, suffering through them.

0:18:21 - Speaker 2 Yeah, and I feel like suffering is a choice. Now, that doesn't mean that you're not gonna be in it, but I also just made it a point to make conscious efforts and do little things that strengthen my mental health and help get me out of that.

0:18:38 - Speaker 1 You know, that's the part of human experience. Right, Suffering is inevitable. It is without a doubt. We're all gonna suffer. We're gonna stub our toe in the morning and it's gonna hurt like hell all day. Or, on serious notes, we're gonna experience death, we're gonna experience illness, we're gonna have to make life, or death choices, literally, i mean.

0:18:58 - Speaker 2 I remember that moment And that was the hardest thing, because the purest and the most you know beautiful thing in my world. I got a call one morning out of nowhere. She's like I don't know what's happening, my organs are shutting down. I'm gonna be on four forms of life support. I just wanna tell you I love you because I'm not gonna be able to see you. And I remember I was supposed to fly back the day before and I changed my flight And I was able to let that go and not take on the regret and the guilt, which took a lot of work. And I remember after my mom's memorial service I flew out the next day back to work.

Not a lot of people knew And it wasn't because I was trying to hide anything. I was able to take that approach of damn like, how could like? I'm so grateful that I had 29 years of my life with a love like this And I know that most people don't experience that And that's rare. And I know how my family affects people and how I affect people And that's because of her and that's living. So just being able to shift that perspective in a lot of different ways has truly helped me understand and navigate some of these situations All right, ef Nation.

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0:22:57 - Speaker 2 Bro, I'm a little bit.

0:22:58 - Speaker 1 Yeah, this is. You seem like you're very well composed and that tells me you have worked through this and you have a lot of emotional safety around this conversation.

0:23:08 - Speaker 2 So if you're cool with it, i'm safe talking about any of these things.

0:23:13 - Speaker 1 Because I'm a hell. I'm starting to get teared up here, man, because it just reminds me of a place where I was not. You said you buried your mother at 29,. She passed at 20,. You were 29. I buried my father, i was 19. And I'm just thinking of the similarities yet differences in our story and insert my story with anyone else listening. That's not you and your approach at that time. I went back three days later to being an active duty soldier and I shut it off because I had to. At least I told. That was what I told myself. I told myself, chase, you don't have time to grieve, you don't have time to dwell on that, you don't have time to really go through what it means to lose your father, your best friend, because duty calls. Then, about 12, 13 years later, that reared its ugly head through PTSD and just poor mental health, and then I chose to face it. But I'm just curious, man, because this is what I love about the show and connection with people like this And that's brave of you.

I don't think people say that That's a brave, courageous choice It was to choose to turn back and face that, to literally go running full force towards it. I mean it's not an easy decision, but I can tell you right now it's the most liberating one I've ever made. So I received that man, thank you. But I'm just so blown away at just the dynamic difference between similar experiences. But yet the mindset, the approach to that suffering, that in the moment can really set you on a different path. Or, like in my case or many other cases, maybe one day you'll choose to turn and face it And then the mindset shift comes later.

0:24:54 - Speaker 2 I didn't really have a question in there, but you know, no, no, but even just what you're saying and just sharing perspective and opening up the conversation for your experience, which thank you for that, i think, again, it'd be naive to say I still didn't have to work through it And I'm a pro at burying things, you know but in that moment, which I never thought it would be that way, i remember like I was in an airport. I'm very spiritual, but I was flying out from after my mom's memorial service And I was sitting in the airport. I was still pretty low, but like an eerie calm, and then I remember I was like it's like my entire chest was filled with air, like my lungs, like someone just breathed life into me And for me that was like damn, that is that, that's my mom is here with me And then I just felt so calm And I feel like that was her message saying to me, like you're gonna be okay.

And I also realized the number one thing I wanted to protect in this world was finally with someone who could protect her better than I could, and that was God. And I could focus on myself, probably for really like the first time in my life, because I had taken care of my family, made more money than my family. Since the time I was, you know, i was in college, paying bills at home, doing all those things which I'd never batted on, and it's what we had to do as a family. But I felt that in a deeper spiritual way and it changed my life forever.

0:26:37 - Speaker 1 Dude, i got so much love for you, even more so already. Dude, like that's powerful man. Thank you so much. All right, well, let's shift gears a little bit. Okay, you went from being a professional athlete NFL you had another life transition to kind of. You made a choice to kind of put yourself in the limelight in other, different ways you know from.

I mean NFL, that's the limelight as well. But what was the calling for you to want to continue to I don't know how to say the term public figure, but just you know, to continue to put yourself out there for the public to see, to then use that in a way to support your mission and so many other positive missions, man, yeah.

0:27:22 - Speaker 2 I think like if I do something in life, like I do it because I want to do it. I was great at sports. I love the competition, i love the grind. There's never a time I'm afraid of working hard. But I was a basketball player in college, transitioned, i played one year of football in college. I realized like I love the competing and I loved all that, but I didn't necessarily love football right.

So when I stepped away, you know it wasn't as difficult of a decision for me And I wanted to build my life on my own terms, in a different way, and just create something new. I've always wanted to be a student. I've always wanted to be a storyteller. I've always wanted to direct and produce And I think for so long in my life I was so afraid to share my story with the outside world. What was that? I didn't think they deserved to hear it. It was never about being judged. I didn't think they deserved to hear it. And also, i think if I shared it in the way it was meant to be shared, they wouldn't even understand it.

0:28:27 - Speaker 1 I understand gotcha.

0:28:28 - Speaker 2 Yeah, And I've since come, you know, grown from that. But you know, obviously I was on reality TV. At that phase in my life I was doing the coolest shit I've ever done. I was traveling the world, business was good, I was a top model at one of the top agencies in the world, I was producing and I had gotten out of a long term relationship, about two and a half years before that, With someone who I, you know, at the time thought I would spend the rest of my life with And I really, you know, just kind of dove into focusing on myself. But I realized I was doing all of these things but I had nobody to share with. You know, I was on the outside you would think I would be so fulfilled, but I was like hollow inside And you're coming home to share the days of ventures with no one.

Yeah, you know well, i can't talk about it with my family as much because they'll never understand. You know, like I'm at an event like Oprah's event, yeah, or I'm because my life was so different New York is such a different beast And I came from the Midwest And also these are things that I was just kind of creating. I didn't have a roadmap, i was just doing things that I I believed would get me to the end goal and just try new things. But I was nominated by Ty Ty, who's like a little sis to me here, and I was like there's no way I'm doing that Like. But I was like, if you know, i'll go through the process, we'll see what happens For the TV show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And at the end of the day, like it finally came down to it. They, they wanted me to be on it.

After a bunch of auditions Four days before, i was like you know what, fuck it? Like like I'm not afraid. What do I have to lose? It was that, but I was also. I was searching for something to fill up like my soul, because I just felt kind of hollow. And a lot of times people will ask do I regret anything or anything? Not one bit Like. That was one of the most transformative experiences of my life And I can honestly say, like I went on that for the right reason I I couldn't tell you what happened on a time before the show, before I was on it. I couldn't even tell you what happened the rest of the season when I was on it. I was there because I wanted to be there And I was looking for something that I couldn't find in any other phase of my life.

0:31:00 - Speaker 1 It's so wild. You get to a point, in a variety different forms of success, right, a personal fulfillment, and, i think, the most human, the most common response then, unless you're a narcissist or something like that, which is like shit you know, i, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:31:17 - Speaker 2 I need somebody, or.

0:31:18 - Speaker 1 I want somebody. I want somebody to share this experience with, and I think to take it even a step further. When you do find that somebody, it's. I want to share my life with them. Yeah, but I want them to live their life and have their personal fulfillment and then want me. Yeah, i want that reciprocity of sharing. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

0:31:40 - Speaker 2 Yeah, and I think that's spot on, and I think that's what we're like. Everyone is looking for Yeah, in some capacity, and probably just don't know it. Yeah, yeah Or it's just at a different time in your life.

And I will say, like, opening myself up to the world wasn't difficult because, like, i was just being myself And I also made a conscious choice. I talked with my pastor always about intentional transformation. I was very intentional and committed to saying like, hey, like it's all out there. I told my family before the show I'm going to tell our story And even though it didn't get shown, but I was like, just know, like it's all out there, and they're like we have nothing to hide from or be ashamed of, and that that was really really big for me. And you know, after the fact, i think one thing I really really learned from that experience was the importance of being yourself. Uh, was the importance of setting boundaries And, um, that's something that I've had difficulties doing, especially in my relationships, because everything else in the world like it's not phasing me, like you know, I think about the, the memes, where people are like you know, you see, like life's throwing all this at you and they're doing like parkour and jumping around and all that.

But for me, how I believe I walk through life is like all that shit is happening, But I'm in that straight line and it's just bouncing off. The only times in my life where I've probably steered or really been able to get affected is with my heart, And I wouldn't change that for the world. But that's why boundaries were so important And I think because I saw all the things that my mom had to go through growing up. I had somewhat of a profound perspective Yeah.

And I had a naive belief that, you know, love is the foundation. I believe that with whole, wholeheartedly, but like I had this naive belief that you could make it work with, with anyone. But there's so much that goes into that And I think that's like a maturity thing as well. But I also know, like I wanted so badly to be that type of man for someone because of what I saw as a kid Sure, sure, yeah, and that's again I'm, you know, reverting back. But that's where, also through that process, i learned how to set boundaries that have helped me in every aspect of life, um, and probably accelerate, you know, um, accelerate a lot of advancement, uh, in my mental health, personal growth and all those things.

0:34:22 - Speaker 1 Really, yeah, yeah. You know that's so cool to hear you say, because I can relate to that We were just talking before we hit record about. I feel like the last year, if not two. For me, boundaries have been theme, work, everything. It's been great. And for someone to hear you say you're setting boundaries but yet accelerating, it kind of sounds a whole lot. How are you drawing a line in the sand and moving forward? So how have boundaries been an accelerator for you?

0:34:46 - Speaker 2 For me, i think, when you, when you have your priorities and the line, it's, it's very easy to set your boundaries, um, and I think not. I think I know that by setting boundaries and it's a constant work in progress I've allowed myself to grow because I've created a safe space And I know my limitations, or I know that this is as far as I'll go in this space, because once I get past this point, i know it's not healthy for me. Well, okay, and it's taken a lot of work, though. I worked with a performance coach. I've worked with a therapist, um I, who's been amazing for me, um, and a lot of the work is that is how to set healthy boundaries. And I know, for me, uh, my health is physical and mental, is my priority. My relationship and my career, my family, um, in spirituality, i don't always put those as like priority because, like, that's certain, you know, oh, wow, like that, that's certainty for me.

0:35:48 - Speaker 1 So what do you mean by family and spirituality are certainty for you, as in it's the truth or you know, you always have it with you, or it's like that is my soul.

0:35:58 - Speaker 2 Okay, That is what gets me up in the morning. Um, and I know that I'll never take that for granted, but even with them, I've had to set boundaries with my family very heavily. Um, uh, you know I say I'll do anything in the world for you, but if I don't see you actively working to change your state or do the things necessary to improve your mental health or your situation, like I, can't take on all those responsibilities. Um, and that started when my mom died, because I wanted to help my family grieve and I realized I can't, can't grieve for you. I got to grieve on my own. I mean, that's where it really really started. What?

0:36:38 - Speaker 1 a guy, What a fucking guy.

0:36:43 - Speaker 2 No it's like I, i, i don't know. Life is life is life is crazy. Um, the foundational pieces that I've been given, that God has blessed me with, um, uh, and I think the tough moments again have allowed me to look at things a little bit differently. But, um, i know my best years are ahead of me. I know the best of my life is ahead of me. Um, but with that, with that choice and that approach, absolutely They are. Yeah, it has to be like, because, like this is not it, um, and but it's taken work to even get in that mental state to believe that and to know that and have that confidence, um, to say that with conviction and I can say that with certainty as well. I know that. I know that in all areas of my life, the best years are ahead of me.

0:37:29 - Speaker 1 You know that kind of I wanted to pull up another question here, but I think you kind of already getting towards it. I wanted to pick your brain on what motivates you to keep such a well trained body and mind.

You really kind of talked about my words, not yours. You've got like a holistic approach here to kind of you know approach here to taking care of your life in a lot of different ways. But it sounds like family and spirituality are. are your kind of certainties, is that your your through line, your why and what keeps you able to keep everything else together?

0:37:56 - Speaker 2 Yeah, i think the reason I focus so much on my mental health and physical health is the world I live in is crazy. Like you know, i'm traveling all over. I spent I've spent three quarters of my time on the road the last year, but I know that if I can commit to my health and protect that, then everything else gets better. I also have recognized and this is through a lot of work, you know, from a mental health perspective And it goes back to the boundaries and stuff because I would always want to do this for other people and try to solve these problems. But, like I've realized, like my problems are not other people's to solve, and there were a lot of moments where I was really low and I felt like I was feet, you know, constantly looking for validation or sharing this with family.

But I realized how my stresses and how some of the situations I didn't handle the greatest the effect it had on them because they loved and cared for me And that was selfish to them And you know it wasn't their responsibility. I also realized which is why, again, i make such a conscious effort to work with a performance coach and my therapist because it's selfish to myself not to be able to understand some of these situations so that I can live my life to the full. Interesting, yeah, and I've always had difficulty putting myself first And yeah, especially this last 12 months I've made, i've put as my, as much as I possibly can into creating a safe space for me so that I can continue to grow And also so I can understand the things around me and not develop like resentment or victim mentality or you know why is this happening to me? And I also want to just be solution oriented.

0:40:04 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so it sounds like the last 12 months have been very conducive to a life that you love and that you want to maintain. Was that by choice, by design, or do you think kind of always having this approach to your life It was just compounding success that all of a sudden you're like you know what? you know, the last year has been good kind of thing.

0:40:27 - Speaker 2 I've had to pivot and make transitions in my life numerous times, from basketball to football and college, nfl, modeling, industry, business, obviously public figure right now. But and I think also like after going through a stint with COVID and you know a very public situation I think whenever there's big life changes you got to reevaluate a lot of things and see exactly where you are and what your voice is. You know that's not saying it's suppressed, but you know it's always evolution. Yeah, and I try to look at it that way.

This year I finally said I'm building my own shit, like I put out so much for so many people and so many things. And you know they talk about like main character mentality, like that's, that's that's where I'm at And I couldn't do that without boundaries And I'm very proud of what's happened this year. Man, like a lot of things I've always dreamed of as a kid have happened in the last 12 months. You know, from the docu series I'm working on, i actually working on a second one now too. Amazing, all right, cool. You know I've opened myself up in a way without fear, in a relationship I'm covering, you know, nfl games. I'm producing it Like I could go down the list, but this year has been entirely focused on doing the things that I want to do, that serve me and my purpose, and what I believe is the future.

0:42:09 - Speaker 1 Do you feel confident in your ability to keep on this path because of the boundaries you have set for yourself and the clarity it sounds like you have for what you want in life and what your priorities are that are definitely going to serve success, i think, and stack the conditions in favor of success. Do you ever worry about them no longer being in alignment with, maybe, what you're working on? And if you do kind of have that crossover, how do you navigate it? not feeling right in here?

0:42:38 - Speaker 2 Yeah, like I say, i don't really operate from a place of fear, so I'm not fearful that things are going to really fall apart. I think there's always like a little bit like ah, you know, i don't want this to not work, but through boundaries, like I know the path that things are on or the path that I want them to continue on for the rest of my life, and I know that I've had to turn away a lot of things and kind of go into this tunnel vision mode. But I know that it's set the foundation to have success in a lot of areas of my life. So I think it's just staying consistent with what you want. And yeah, i don't know, i guess I've never really. It's funny because you asked me that question and I was like I've never really been like oh, is this going to go away? Can't really, bro, sorry.

0:43:31 - Speaker 1 No, I feel very certain about where I'm at in life.

0:43:36 - Speaker 2 And that's a great feeling. I feel certainty in a way I've never felt in this many areas of my life right now, and that's like a powerful thing to feel.

0:43:49 - Speaker 1 Let's say, someone listening right now is in a place of uncertainty Yeah, uncertainty with a relationship, uncertainty with a job, uncertainty with the direction of their life. What advice would you give them to? to endure adversity through that, that endure that uncertainty, yeah.

0:44:09 - Speaker 2 I mean, I think, first and foremost, like you have to give yourself some grace and understand that everyone goes through these times. I think the more action you take, it limits insecurities And you just you got to try new things. I think action is the number one thing I could say. Yeah, I was going to ask you?

0:44:32 - Speaker 1 what do you mean by that? I think I really vibe with action, taking action to definitely at least just shake you out of that headspace of uncertainty. But if we're uncertain.

0:44:40 - Speaker 2 how do we take the right action? Yeah, and honestly, I went through that this year. I was almost frozen at times because I wanted to make the right decision And while constantly I was moving forward in so many areas. but I was so focused on making the right decision and not having a decision like affect everything else in my life, And that was me just being fearful of stuff that hadn't happened.

0:45:06 - Speaker 1 You, know, and I'm, in the future, feeling anxious about, like you know, trying to make assumptions.

0:45:10 - Speaker 2 Yeah, make assumptions or anticipate, But I also realized that, like I can make mistakes, that's okay, but also I can't control everything. Like if you try to control everything, like you're setting yourself up for failure because it's just not happening. But the uncertainty thing also it helped me a lot by surrounding myself with people that I trusted and that we're doing things in an area that I admired or I looked up to and respected, because I think environment is an extremely important time is a hundred man.

Oh it's so, so important, And I also think you have to take a deep look at yourself as well and understand what areas should you exit? Right, Yeah, And it's so hard to walk away from things at times, but like I think that's again where these boundaries, these priorities, like these limitations are, like you have to really really focus and hone in on those. But one of my friends is a great therapist and he's, like you know, in every relationship, honestly like what the most successful ones are the ones where someone knows they have an exit. They just don't have to take it because you're not leveraging, you don't feel true as freedom, absolutely Yeah.

Yeah, And I know that that's an approach that I've been able to kind of take in in mine, in in in the healthiest way, right, Um, but I would say those are some, some different options on how I would say to navigate it. Um, it's tough, though It's tough.

0:46:53 - Speaker 1 Speaking of tough, i know you're in a great happy relationship now, but it doesn't sound like you all live in the same city and you've already said how much of a travel and you know jets at life you have. We're talking about certainty here, right, and I think a lot of people struggle with certainty in relationships when they're next door to each other in the same city. How do you kind of navigate certainty? How do you and your partner now maintain that level of certainty with each other when you're not together that often?

0:47:24 - Speaker 2 Yeah, I think, like I think it's on it Honestly, like it's constant work, right, But I I I know the foundation of our relationship was built in the right way. Um, I never have insecurities about you know, faithfulness or anything, And I know she doesn't as well. Um, I think the biggest thing is just you have to make conscious efforts to make your partner a priority. We both have so many things going on in life And what I always try to hold on to is you know, everyone wants to be made to feel important. They want to know that they matter And they want to know that they're not in it alone. And I think, when you can kind of approach it in that way and also understand relationships are always 50, 50. Everyone, if you think it's that way, it's, it's a nice way.

0:48:10 - Speaker 1 You're always looking for fairness. You're always looking for it's not always going to be perfect.

0:48:15 - Speaker 2 Like it can be 80, 20. And, um, i like, i know that and I've learned that through through times the pendulum swings right Because it has to, otherwise things aren't sustainable. But, um, you know, i've been very, very blessed and very, very fortunate with someone who trusts me, who's very secure, who grinds. You know, she works hard, she's got a great heart, um, and I think the number one thing that we we have to continue to focus on and we do a great job of it is just understanding that, with all these other things going on, like you know, we have to make sure that each other's a priority. Yeah, um, and I've never really had someone that I could like, felt like I could go to war with Um, and it's a good feeling, yeah, it really is.

0:49:01 - Speaker 1 You know when you got that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, i'm sure, yeah For sure, love you baby. Um, a unique question kind of popped out of my mind then. So I'm happy to hear that. I love hearing people in you know, meaningful, fulfilling relationships of any kind of capacity, because I'm there, you know. I haven't been there before. It's like when you know, you know but also when you feel great.

You feel great Like you don't know how good good can feel. You don't know how that relationship can feel when you're in the nice, healthy relationship. Yeah, but someone like yourself, who you've even said, it's hard for you to kind of ask for help. You know, you seem to just be able to endure. How do you drop that wall with someone in your life right now? Because being able to endure is great and well for you. Yeah, You know someone like myself as well.

But, personally speaking, that was a big area in my relationship. She's like Hey, you need to, you need to let me in, you need to kind of let me carry some of this stuff with you or for you. Just because you can doesn't mean you should all the time. Have you had to navigate that at all?

0:49:56 - Speaker 2 Yeah, i feel like um, i feel like I've done a much better job in this This than I ever have before, um, but I think that's again. It is a constant, uh is is a constant work in progress. Um, i think I've probably, honestly, been overly open and overly not overly, actually. Let me take that back. I've been extremely open and vulnerable and I did this upfront, um, because it was important for me, uh, for my partner, to know exactly where I stood. I've been extremely open and vulnerable and I did this upfront To know exactly where I stood, um, and also I wanted to see what they would give.

0:50:37 - Speaker 1 Give me right, oh, nice, okay, cause I can receive that.

0:50:40 - Speaker 2 But how can I? I can't expect you to open up and share all these things with me. If I'm not willing to do it with you, you can't get anything close to what you're not going to get.

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's just how I've approached it and it allowed us to to build things in a very proper way. But, like you know, it's, it's a constant work in progress, right, and I don't take any time for granted. And we've had to, you know, set boundaries within our relationship as well, to uh protect one another's, because I know, for me, my greatest strength, um is also my greatest weakness when it comes to uh being able to endure and just put stuff behind me. But I also want I'm I'm a problem solver and I provided for my family so much And I I always think in my mind like, oh, it's all good, i can carry the weight of five people and I can uh, but you know, with the right partner you don't have to do that all the time.

0:51:37 - Speaker 1 Yeah, Um, thank you for that. man Appreciate that Honestly.

So I know you're working a lot of cool projects now. We already started kind of talking about a few. You're able now to kind of step into another version of yourself that sounds like it's been with you all along. You know this, this creator, this producer, this um bringer to lighter of meaningful things, and I know you have a great partnership relationship with the special Olympics. Can you kind of talk to us about what is that? What does that look like? What are you doing? And you know, i've never really kind of I've never highlighted this on the show before. I'm pretty ignorant, to be honest. So I would love to know, like, what is this organization doing these days? And you know, what is your involvement?

0:52:19 - Speaker 2 Yeah, so I've been involved at a local level since I was young. My sister, amber, has physical and intellectual disabilities, so I was always very aware of special Olympics And I saw firsthand how they gave my sister a chance and provided resources that we never could as a family. And in 2015, it was the off seasons And I remember seeing something about the world games in Los Angeles on a billboard And I was like all right, like I want to see if they need any volunteers. I'd love to, you know, support some of the athletes. This is something that I did back home And I show up for the event they scheduled for me the unified sports experience. Thinking it was going to be something small 7,500 athletes from 180 countries.

It took over LA And I used to say I could never coach. I always thought like I could player development and all that, but I just was like I could never be a coach. But in that moment, during the unified sports experiences, i got it. Well, there's something so special and so transformative about being able to be a part of a life changing moment for someone, but I experienced that like 10 times in the day, and not only that I got to see the real, real global work that they were doing And I also have the personal connection like they saved my sister, you know, and I've just been very, very involved since then because you know, for me, i feel like I found a lot of purpose through the organization. Really well, and now, as I think about the projects I'm working on now, like I want to raise as much awareness as possible and do it in the right way, with nothing to gain other than like seeing seeing growth and seeing people be affected in a positive way.

0:54:13 - Speaker 1 And I know you're going about it not only in those ways, but you're literally bringing it to life, high production, doing all these things. Actually, what kind of pick you bring a little bit about because you have such passion for this stuff and you know even someone like yourself who has already been on TV and has already stepped out onto the field and, you know, is bringing a lot to the table. you still hit walls, you still hit snafus, oh for sure. You're still hitting delays in the months, years.

This has been a very impressive. How do you navigate that when you're not only able to endure these things but, like yo, come on, we got the people, we got the resources, we got all the things. You know, we have the mission. We have the mission that matters so much right now. How do you navigate those walls?

0:54:55 - Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, my heart and passion is so invested in this docuseries, And Oh shit.

0:55:07 - Speaker 1 Sorry to be up.

0:55:08 - Speaker 2 No, we're good, I got it. It just threw me off.

0:55:11 - Speaker 1 I could just pick it up.

0:55:12 - Speaker 2 Okay, I'll just pick it right up. Yeah, I mean I don't know, You just got to keep on.

0:55:19 - Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, really, that's what, that's what ultimately comes down to.

0:55:23 - Speaker 2 But I've learned a lot this year and had an accelerated, an accelerated course on how to produce a docuseries.

0:55:33 - Speaker 1 OK, i think from like the creative angle, they'll pick up your actions. Ok, cool, yeah, so you want to pick up where you were kind of describing the Yeah, just like this, how you keep going. Ok, cool, yeah, let's get back there.

0:55:47 - Speaker 2 Yeah, i mean, this year's been a lot of learning And I think anytime you're passionate about something, it makes it easier to keep going. But you know, the industry has been frozen in a way that it hasn't been in 15 years.

0:56:01 - Speaker 1 Yeah, and while it's a huge writer strike and a lot, of things going on yeah nothing new is really happening, yeah.

0:56:07 - Speaker 2 Yeah, but I think I've always just held on to like this is going to happen. There's no question that it's it's not going to happen, and I also realized that I just had to let let go of control and a lot of surrender.

Yeah, yeah, but I built a team properly Like if I was going to do this and I'm, you know, telling this from a look at, you know, my experience with the organization and having assisted with ID, I was like I have to find the best in the world to do this, because that's what I believe this project can be And deserves.

0:56:41 - Speaker 1 Yeah, it deserves it.

0:56:42 - Speaker 2 The organization, these athletes, their families And I ended up signing with Radical Media, which is an Academy Award winning production company and one of the best in the world, and I know that I have their support and they've really helped me through this. So I'll be in Berlin, germany, during the world games. This will be my fourth world games And we'll still be capturing some things out there the stories but we sat down with every major streamer in their offices.

0:57:08 - Speaker 1 They love the project, so this is something that's going to happen And it's just a matter of when, kind of looking back on your life now, with everything that you've gone through and everything we've talked about, is there anything I don't want to say regret, but is there anything that you feel like you know what, dale, you didn't know You didn't have to endure that alone. I think again, hindsight is 20-20 with a lot of things in life, right, but I realized that you know what, actually, if I didn't have the courage or I didn't have the voice, or if I didn't know how to ask for help, there were people around me that were wanting to help me but I just, for whatever reason, couldn't see it and I couldn't let them in. Is there anything, maybe looking back, that you would have wanted to endure less on your own and kind of had somebody that could endure that with you?

0:58:01 - Speaker 2 Yeah, I think there's been numerous times within my life where when I was going through tough situations, it never consumed me but I would isolate myself from people And I realized that I was causing myself. I thought it was like me kind of recharging and I was just handling it and coping, But I realized that a lot of times I sat in that negative headspace far, far longer.

0:58:28 - Speaker 1 What you say was more you, in retrospect, running away from it and, at the time, feeling like, no, this is what I just need to do in order to process this in a healthy way.

0:58:38 - Speaker 2 I think it was a combination of both And it wasn't until I actually started working through things and really doing work to understand where emotions and things would trigger that I actually realized like there's times for recharge but I would like I think that's why I love New York so much, because it's my island that I could escape to But I realized it wasn't always the best situation and it just kept me in some time some negative headspace for far longer. But I don't regret things. I don't really regret too many things. Actually, it's hard for me to pinpoint because I truly believe if I make a conscious decision to do something like I'm in it, like, that's why I can have certainty if I commit to something or someone like I'm in it, like. But I also am consciously accepting what happens if it doesn't work out.

0:59:33 - Speaker 1 And I know that.

0:59:34 - Speaker 2 I'm okay with that because through, like I know, I'll be all right And I'm not afraid of something not working or failing. But if it's something I believe in and I love and I care about, the thing that will eat me up is if I didn't give it a chance. So that's way worse for me than having to go through some headache and some heartache and have something just not work out.

1:00:03 - Speaker 1 Is there anything right now keeping this flow of endurance going on? Is there anything going on right now in your life that you would want to do, Would want to share kind of let's take, you know, high level? you know, Dale, look down on Dale. right now You don't need to endure this as much as possible, as much as you think you do right now. You know, and are you dealing with this in a healthy manner?

1:00:25 - Speaker 2 Yeah, what would you kind? of say to him I think if there's a message I could share just with people, or like the things you want most in life, you have to be willing to walk away from if they don't serve you, because otherwise you're completely controlled by them. And that's not saying like run away from things, but I think for me that's been a very, very powerful thing, because it's like I've learned that things don't always work out the way you plan. More often than not.

Yeah, more often than not. But I think there's so much power and also understanding that if shit hits the fan like, you've got the strength and the endurance to figure it out. And I think it's important for people to really understand the value of like not being afraid to put themselves first at times, because we're in a day and age where so many people and so many things have access to us And it's so easy to get lost in whatever it is, the job you know, social media and all these things, and we don't even fully realize it sometimes.

Yeah, For sure.

1:01:36 - Speaker 1 Oh shit, where's my mind? Yeah, where's the time gone? Yeah, why am I so anxious? Yeah.

1:01:41 - Speaker 2 It got me Yeah. No, i agree, And I think one thing that I wish I would have done earlier is not tried to always protect myself. I think, naturally, as human beings, our body's response, our brain's response, is to survive, yeah, survive.

And I say protect myself as, like, i've worked really hard to create safe spaces for me and they are safe. But I also understand that through certain fears and our I say fears, but just certain experiences in life, that I would hold on to the idea that, like you know, i couldn't trust people or I couldn't trust a situation. But I do, i do, i do, i do, i do, i do, i do, i do, and I do believe that I've really really let go of that And a lot of that's been through the work of like, just understanding the triggers from childhood and, like you know, understanding where things have happened throughout my life.

1:02:42 - Speaker 1 I'm so glad you're hitting on these things, yeah, because even just for somebody to hear these things from you that in a quick, high level version, or actually in depth, they all matter and they all have served and they all have created and continue to maintain the version of Dale that we see right here today.

1:02:58 - Speaker 2 So, yeah, Yeah, it's not for naught. Yeah, and I think that you know people have this negative connotation with asking for help and the reality is like no one does it alone. And I think, especially when you can find a space that you feel safe in and just like get it off your chest, have an unbiased view on it and come from a place of understanding, like I want to understand myself, i want to understand this world, i want to take my emotion out of this situation because I don't want to be controlled by my emotions. I just want to. I just want to understand it. You guys hearing this stuff.

1:03:38 - Speaker 1 It's powerful. It's so powerful, it's so necessary.

1:03:41 - Speaker 2 It's allowed me to not build resentment I'm not meant to hold hate Like it's allowed me to weather any storm, and I think that's really wanting to come from a place of understanding and how to make things better.

1:03:56 - Speaker 1 Dale, this has been incredible, man. I love your journey. I love your story. I love the insight and perspective you have on your life, on the things that you have to endure as they come down the line. Yeah, also looking back, man, it's exactly everything I'm talking about when I say live a life ever forward. But I would love to get your interpretation of that. When you hear those two words, what does that mean to you?

1:04:19 - Speaker 2 Yeah, it seems so simple, but like I just go back and listen to the episode. Yeah, i think it's belief and faith. Man, you're always going to move forward if you have belief and faith. And I also believe that you have to reflect in order to really really go forward in the way that you're meant to. And that goes back to understanding. I think that a lot of times I have put stuff in the back of my mind and amazing trauma like all these things, and I was just like, ah, it's not there. But the more that I reflect and really try to understand those things, it's changed my perspective on life moving forward And I'm just like pfft. So that's allowed me to have more faith and belief because I can navigate anything that comes my way. I know that.

1:05:10 - Speaker 1 Hell yeah, hell yeah, man. Well, this has been great. Thank you so much again for your time on the show. Where can everybody go right now to connect with you more? We'll have everything listed down on the show notes and video, but what are you doing most these days? How can we support where you're thinking at?

1:05:23 - Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean the biggest thing. I share portions of my life on Instagram at Dale Moss 13, TikTok. I'll be on there every once in a while with you, Dale Moss, But I think the biggest way to support like, if you hear this, reach out if you have any questions. I'm really focused on sharing a lot more about my health, wellness, mental health. I want to do things that impact people in a very positive way and provide value, And you'll see a lot of things coming out that I think really, really show and dictate that.

1:05:53 - Speaker 1 No, dale man, I'm already seeing it. It's been great getting plugged into. You. Shout out Heather Mutual Home here for making this happen. Sheesh, yeah, but all right. For more information on everything you just heard, make sure to check this episode's show notes or head to everforwardradiocom.