EFR 505: Improving Your Self-Esteem, Tapping Into Your Masculine Energy, and Becoming a Professional Man with Angelo Sisco

Chase: Dude, I'm so glad you're here. And I had such a great time down in San Clemente, what, a couple months ago and on the alpha hippie show and you got such a great community, such a great tribe down there. And of guys of men. And that's kind of the main focus of the work that you're doing, which I resonated with so much of just addressing what it means to be a man. And not in the typical way that I think a lot of guys or a lot of people think of, of just the typical machismo typical this typical that. And it's just like almost rewriting the narrative. And just breaking down a lot of what doesn't serve not only men, but society. Am I getting closer? 

Angelo: Yeah, you know, I was thinking about this. And when I was growing up, you know, I had, you know, all you my dad wanted me to be a lawyer or whatever it is. But bottom line, I just wanted to be a man. Like, you know, to me being a man is already cool enough. Right? Like, isn’t it exciting to like, know that you are a man, and really believe that deep down inside of you and when you have that, for me, it means you have self-esteem, which is the reputation you keep from yourself. It's actually completely different than confidence. And so when you know that you have done the work and really in your heart, believe that you are a man a lot, the majority of suffering will be gone. Because it you will not be comparing yourself, you won't be doubting yourself as much you won't be your criticizers much a lot of these things get removed. And so I love the importance of just saying I'm a pro man. And I want to help other men go pro. Let's just be pro man that have integrity, grace, gratitude, and let's walk this life. And I'm willing to bet that we're going to be in a better place than all these other roles and things that we've put on pedestals just be a man, a great man, and then everything else will follow that.

Chase: let's start if we could add something that stood out to me the most in there and that's self-esteem. And I think for a lot of guys out there and myself included I go back to being a young teenager you know, leaving home leaving ness finding myself stepping into my first career stepping in all these, you know, next level identities at the core. I had to really develop that self-esteem first of myself for I could step into whatever role I was trying to fill. So if you could walk us through self-esteem, what is it? Why do you think men lack it? And how can we cultivate more of it? 

Angelo: For sure. Personally, I don't think it's just the man issue. But obviously with my field, it's more I geared towards that. But self-esteem is the reputation you keep for yourself. And it's really how you hold yourself and believe who you are in this world. It's beyond just skill, which confidence is like, I'm confident I could scramble eggs. But believing I'm worthy, removing self-doubt, removing, you know, your inner critic, all of these other things have to do with your self-esteem, having integrity, showing up, doing what you say, you're good to do. You know, this inner accountability, self-accountability, you know, for me, is beautiful. And it's the most freeing, liberating thing that someone could do, especially a man, where any, if you were studying of masculine and feminine energy, masculine energy, one of the great parts about it is advancing, moving us forward as a culture, right. And in order to really move things forward with a positive direction. If you lack self-esteem, you are moving things forward, in a poor direction. So when we're looking at our leaders, and who we want to be in the White House, who you want to be in as a mayor, who you want to be as a person, if your self-esteem isn't checked, isn't in check, and you have done the work to actually ensure that it is and what's really important about self-esteem, no one really knows about it. Besides you. It's your own true worth, that's what I love about it the most is, it's one of those things where someone can validate it for you, someone can't give you self-esteem, no one can even really see 

Chase: self-esteem level, right is an internal gauge. 

Angelo: Yes. And so that, to me, is what lacks the most people, and that's especially men. And then the world. When you lack self-esteem, in my opinion, the world beat you up more, because you are only the world is our projection. So wherever you are lacking and self-esteem is more than likely of what your subconscious is looking for evidence to validate that story. So if I doubt myself, I am more than likely going to find a reason to doubt other people. If I don't feel I'm worthy, I don't believe that I'm going to be worthy of praise, compliments and all these things from other people. And then you could imagine now the ripple effect, just of one of a human being but then collectively what that really look like. 

Chase: So then where does self-esteem begin to develop? Can we look to our outside world to help grow an internal source? Or do we have to internally work on it to then project it out to our outside world? 

Angelo: whew what a question. So really, self-esteem begins with nurturing, or what some may call feminine energy, which I often refer to as grace, because you learn how to treat yourself from your mother. So your mother is you. So when you come out of the womb, you do not believe as a baby that you are separate from your mother. So more than likely how you treat yourself will look like unless you've done this some work to alter it naturally be how your mother treated herself 

Chase: while she was pregnant with you, or just in general?

Angelo: in general, in life, you learn how to treat yourself the same way your mother did, I don't care if your boy girl, whatever that is, the inward energy that feminine energy is from your mother that means to self. Okay, so if your mother was, you know, took care of everyone and was so selfless that she never took care of herself that she didn't find herself worthy to do that. Your mother was a people pleaser. And she gave, gave, gave but never learned how to receive that is more than likely how you treat yourself. And then what you learn, and you learn that right? And that's a lot of inner dialogue and thoughts.

Chase:  I'm having some right now. Yeah, you're taking me back. Right? 

Angelo: Like we are very much like our mothers from that period. And then what we learn from our fathers are that male role figure is the outside world, because what your father or whatever, masculine relate men, usually masculine relationship that you first receive is a representation of the outside world and how you were related to the outside world. That's why more than likely, when you see a boy, they modeled their father's behaviors. And that's why boys or girls learn from modeling. So that's why most girls, they marry their fathers. Or someone that exhibits some sort of behavioral dynamic of their father, whether they want it or not good dad, bad dad really doesn't matter here. Because this is before you had those judgments about your parents anyway. 

Chase: Exactly. Exactly. Which was gonna go into my next question about good and bad. So I think someone on the journey to becoming a better man, just learning about the man that they are. Step one is awareness and everything right? So maybe they develop awareness that actually, I didn't really like my dad, I didn't really like my mom, or the relationship that I'm kind of ruminating over, I'm realizing is not ideal, or doesn't serve the man that I think that I am or want to be. So let's go with that angle first. So if maybe if we're realizing that these models that we had the mother or the father aren't ideal, in our opinion, where do we go from there? Where does your work from that?

Angelo: So here's how I suggest working through step by step how to develop in this process. First, we all have an opportunity to become aware, this is step one that oftentimes gets overstepped in my book is, there are opportunities for awareness. Some of them are very small. And some of them are very big, like an epiphany, some people get in near death experiences. And then that was the opportunity for, for awareness. Yeah. Okay. That's such a big moment that people don't see.

Chase: any man or woman you know, right. And any, you know, however you look at yourself, you know, me that's a universal, I think, human aspect. 

Angelo: Absolutely. This is, technically this is not a gender bias subject, I am just better at relating stories and show her personal and how I view the world because I am a man, I don't know what it's like to be a girl and go through a menstrual cycle. Like I don't, I've never felt that. So I tried to not talk about things that I haven't felt 

Chase: can't relate to. Yeah, I think that's, I think that's good. Yeah, we should all maybe adopt a little bit more of that. 

Angelo: Yeah. Because intellectually, I could read a book and understand, in my brain, what it's like to be pregnant yet, would I ever be able to feel which to me is the ultimate idea of understanding, right? Something you used to have to feel Yeah, to really understand. And not think you understand? And know, the answer is no, I won’t. Biologically, this is where we are, right. And so there's an opportunity for awareness, some people, most don't hear that opportunity to something majorly happens in their life, because they're usually stuck in repetitive cycles with their environment and relationships, that things often like with a partnership in a marriage. Usually, the symptom may be different, you fight about the same thing. Although people get caught up in the symptom, those are always opportunities for awareness. Yet we don't give them that thing because we're too pissed about the whatever.

Chase: you downloaded the towel and a trifold. And I asked you a bifold. It's like, yeah, that's not really what you're pissed about. You're not listening to your partner; you're not hearing them. Right. 

Angelo: And that's why oftentimes, it just overall relationship dynamics. Someone cheating on someone's the straw that broke the camel's back, but if you play the relationship out, they've been playing the same song. It's just tried many times, trust and integrity have finally been broken enough that there's a big enough action that a big enough sign of this isn't working you could see these things very early, for sure. Except the emotional charge usually isn't big enough for people to want to make a change or they're not really sure. So opportunity for awareness, okay? Or opportunity to become a witness so you could have awareness. Then the next thing is awareness. Now, like we said before, now some people may even you brought this up, oh, I exhibit these behaviors, like my mother, write them down and just look at them and become aware of them, let them sink in, and then pay attention to when they show up in your life. What trigger puts me into some energy or things that really aren't great for like my mother. So my mother, I'll give a real perfect example. My mother, I have a beautiful relationship with this woman. I am mama's boy until I die. Right? Where my mother often has struggled in life, is having self-respect. I too, have been used in certain ways and have allowed myself I'm not giving it but I've allowed myself to be used or exploited by other people. Because I have felt times of lack of self-respect and unworthiness for myself. Okay, honest. How did I learn that from being with my mother, because she often has things like that and now she's the woman that has lacking health conditions. She's overweight, because she has done things to serve other people because she thought serving herself would mean saying no, selfish. Right? Okay. So then there's that dynamic. So then you start becoming aware of these triggers and cycles in there. Now once there's awareness, you could move to acceptance, acceptance, for how I define it, is feminine energy at its finest, 

Chase: which you described earlier as grace. 

Angelo: Grace. Yeah. Okay. And grace to me is loving acceptance. So, any, you know, for me, I'm an Italian culture, right? Doesn't matter what was going on in my life, what the problems were, I want to see my mother, I don't care if I just told her I stabbed eight people outside on a stoop. She's like, don't worry about it. What do you want for dinner? I love your beautiful kid. Right? Completely. Right. And that's beautiful. We love that energy. It's, it's amazing. 

Chase: Yeah, I mean, beautiful. There's nothing more forgiving or just right. we want to bathe in it.

Angelo: And it's good to take a bath for a short period of time. But if you bathe in it too long, you don't make any changes. You just sit still. And oftentimes, some of us need time in that stillness to actually work through true acceptance. Because now we're starting to see that the people in your movie are only there, like I was, because I didn't respect myself. So I was casting people in the movie of my life. That took time for me to heal brother. Because now, once I have awareness, I can begin acceptance. Yet acceptance doesn't really you start seeing the cues. But then real acceptance isn't there to you are able to take responsibility for the whole thing. You cast it, I cast it certain people in the movie of my life. Because I didn't I wasn't worthy. Because I didn't have self-respect. And for a lot of people to call like this, instead of this is already something that needs to take time. There's no timeline on this. And that's first okay. So there you get to accept it. But then you want grace you want to lovingly accept it. I spent this time in this three year abusive relationship. I loved that I did it because without it I wouldn't be who I am right now. And that is grace. When you lovingly except even the bad things, even the parts of your body that you might not like right how many people I take a picture of this is my good side. Why do you think you have a good side and a bad side? Let's start there. left tilt. Let me get over it. Why? Why are you criticizing yourself that way? Why Can't you just love all your sides and smile pretty because you're with people you love. Right like that, that sort of thing. Then once we've established that, where it's really good to do is to move into like that deeper form of grace, that loving acceptance, which then turns into a form of gratitude. You're glad these things you're not even accepting of? These happened for me, not to me. That's the, the two for right like, that is the ultimate sign of gratitude. And divine energy is they didn't happen to me.

Chase: I Angelo have found myself just thinking out loud and laughing like I cannot believe that I'm saying I'm glad for this. I am grateful for this thing. This horrendous thing that looking back at the time broke me. And I'm sure every guy listening can relate that you've been there of just how am I ever going to get over this breakup? How am I ever going to get through this injury? This this other guy got the promotion this other girl got the promotion me and you think it's the end of your world and you just spiral down, but then later on by doing the things you're talking about. I looked back and just I can’t believe I gave that attention. Or I can't believe I didn't see those gifts sooner. It blows my mind how much gratitude I have for when just not that long ago I was on the other end of the spectrum, it's wild. 

Angelo: And that's how the shift begins. And then from there, what's really important is to develop still and that inner feminine side is what I like to call your inner Adrian, those of you that know Rocky, but there is a part in all of us, especially men that often goes under appreciated or misunderstood is we must develop our own feminine affirmer. 

Chase: What do you mean by that? 

Angelo: So, in in a movie like Rocky, okay, so I like to give rocky one. You know, if you don't know, Rocky, please, please watch. If you're one of those, like Cree generation hit pause, like drunk do understand what I mean. But there's an inner firmer there, I just don't remember name but, Adrian, okay. And with the female affirmer does is you know, you got this baby. When rocky when, you know, in part four, she tells him at the top of the stairs, you can't win. And then that ruins Rocky. He doesn't know what to do. He goes out of a ride, he gets in the Lamborghini, and he can’t handle it, he goes to Russia camp, his training stinks. But then when Adrian shows up at the house, she goes, I'm with you no matter what. And then hearts on fire plays a greatest training montage history running up, you know, all in there. And so it's really important, though, that we learn as men to develop that inside of us. Because oftentimes what happens is, it's we get it from our mothers, or that nurturing presence for nothing for free. And so we often don't learn how to give it to ourselves. So we are born through a dependency, 

Chase: we have no appreciation for it. Right and earned it. It's just like you said was given to us for free. Right? Wow. Yeah. 

Angelo: And then we go try to find a mate to give it to us. And then when that mate leaves, has children, they evolve whatever, right? We shouldn't be looking for a new mommy we should develop our own mommy's inside of us. We need to become our own mommies, daddies. So back to that, Adrian, you give yourself that sort of energy. So like, for me, the favorite way I like to do this is through music. So I love to work out full disclosure, to feminine energy bias songs. 

Chase: What does that sound like? 

Angelo: if I was gonna work out really hard. So when I was in like the CrossFit world, and I wanted to do like a three or four minute, just while I was staying all worked out. I will put on simply the best by Tina Turner. For real, no shit, no shit. When you listen to the words. She says, I'm stuck on your heart. Because that's what the female is. The feminine is your heart. I'm stuck on your heart. I hang on every word you say, tear us apart, baby, I'd rather be dead. Because that's what you want. You want to know that your heart is with you. And when you need it from a woman outside of you, don't get me wrong. You could. You could prefer it. But if you need it, if you depend on it, it is not healthy. I'm in love with my wife. She's my soulmate. There is no one I want to bring the bacon home more for and ever pat me on the head and told me that she's proud of me. Obviously, it's not like that. Right? You want that we do. But if I need it, she's not there to give it to me. I suffer. And it's not her job to give it to me. And so a lot of men have a hard time doing and that's why like, I play songs like that I play music like that. And a lot of men and at first I get What do you mean? Let me tell you what every closet straight man I don't care what I say. There's a song that has a chick sing in it and you're just like, yeah, baby, or what's another one? 

Chase: guilty pleasure for me. I used to rock out all the time. To Lady Gaga. Yeah, like her. It was like our first album or a second album for me. It was just like in in true to my nature. I've always latched whether it's heavy metal with hip hop or Gaga. It's the lyrics that hit me the first in the most profound way. And I mean, I mean, I don't think anyone would disagree. I mean, the way that she writes songs, it's just, it's, it's just to your core. And that's why I think it resonated so much with me. And then of course, it doesn't hurt that they're super catchy and just, like bobbing my head in my truck, back in Virginia and Lady Gaga through and through, there it is. 

Angelo: So Lady Gaga has a song called you and I, okay. And I listened to it a great song, right. And then there's, there's a lyric in it that says, there’s something about knowing when it's right. And that's like, your heart, your intuition, your feeling the inner affirmer. Because then rocky knew in his heart that he was gonna crush dragon, right? he rips up that newspaper clipping on the mirror, because his heart knew it. And no wonder, the training montage song is hearts on fire. There you go. Okay, so just to like, really get people to understand this, because it's in every great hero's journey. These are things that happen, male, female, but just parts that need to happen. And so that inner affirmer comes, then we shift over to a masculine support. Okay, so what masculine support often is, is a big brother, a mentor, a tribe of like minded men, like minded men that support you. Now what support in masculine energy is, is calling up. What I mean by that is calling out is rather degrading and shaming. But calling someone up to be greater, more great, better. And that could even be a slap in the face. From a real good friend, right? That just wake up.

Chase: It's the source. And you can be calling someone out. But I think it's the source and the intention behind the source. That is the calling up part that you're talking about.

Angelo: It comes from love. And isn't about defamation of character. 

Chase: It's not about ego of the other person, right? 

Angelo: It's just like, Chase, I know you're far better. And you know you are too. Let's go. Let's do this. Like that iron sharpening iron. That's where Mickey comes in. A corner, man. Okay, great. What happened in Rocky three, when Mickey died? Rocky crumbled, because he had dependency on Mickey, right? So who needs to really be your own corner, man, you same things as me, my favorite way. Put on some music now this is when I go a little crazy, right I put on. So for me. Watch the throne is the greatest hip hop Album of the 2000s yell at me call me crazy, okay, and so like you put on watch the throne. And it's just two kings that no other kings and just rip in it right? And for me, you put on no church in the wild illest. That's that type of frequency that taps into my heart and your yours, right? And then you are ready then to take action because then that's the ultimate expression of masculine energy is that we take action. And also to that's what the beauty of masculine energy is, it gets you out of this standing still position. And that means advancement doesn't necessarily mean conquering. It means advancing. So if you are depressed, no matter what gender you are, it begins as feminine energy to get out of depression, which is trouble with your past disagreement with the past, moving away from that, and actually doing something different that brings you to the present and then can move you forward is how you get rid of depression. It's not by out thinking depression, because that's why you still stuck on the car, not you, but just any choice. Why you're still stuck on the couch jack is because you're stuck in that toxic femininity cycle going through there. And that is really what healing is. And for me that masculine energy looks like integrity and integrity is trusting yourself. And how do you trust yourself by constantly being delivering with integrity, right, you show up how you say you're gonna show up as a professional Man. You take care of your duties, responsibilities, your commitments to yourself, commitments to others. And then you could recognize yourself by being a king. But if you let your feelings, how you feel that day, all of those things get in your way of your duties, responsibilities and commitments. You are not appropriate at being just a human level, right? Or a man. And that's really where I'm at right now in my moving through all those things in that way. It's the opportunity for awareness, awareness, grace, gratitude, the affirmer to support and then you have integrity. Because if you could trust yourself that you're going to take care of business, and you know that you're capable of it. Life is pretty good. I would say better than pretty good. Life is amazing. But if you don't know that 10 seconds ago, you don't want the ball in your own life. You will always fumble. You will never show up for yourself when it matters. Your father, your kids are screwed. I hate to say that out loud. Because they're they don't have the support that they have. And then that cascades into a ripple effect.

Chase: a lot of other part of what you're talking about there, especially with, you know, Kanye and Jay Z, they're like just these two guys, these two kings just owning and just putting it out there. I think oftentimes, I mean, Kayne definitely get a little cocky, but I think oftentimes in when we us as men, or just outside world looks at masculinity, and what a man is there's like a threshold or that it's like, no, this is the line of, of ownership and responsibility. And this is the line of knowing, but then it's right, where cockiness and ego and machismo and just flashing is kind of maybe the kind of coexists a little bit. Would you agree with that? Or should we kind of step into a little bit of that does that in a healthy way can it feed, rewriting this kind of masculine narrative of owning who you are owning your accomplishments owning the knowing owning all of this stuff to really fully step into just that, that power as a man? 

Angelo: Yes. So here's, here's my example of I believe that people should peacock a lot more I don't believe that people do not peacock or recognize is recognizing yourself to me as peacock. So I recognize myself celebrate myself, I show myself that I'm grateful for me to show up. It is absolutely one of the most Paramount things to be happy. And we grew up in were a part of a society, that self-deprecation, because we don't want to be separate than the collective has been a good thing. Jordan Peterson sometimes talks about the lobsters or the crabs, they pull themselves down in the bucket because they don't want to see someone do that. Oftentimes, the people that pull people down for peacocking are just people that don't see it in themselves. Because anyone that's really doing it, like if you came up to me, and you were like, Angelo, I've been doing this, this and this, and you're really passionate. I love it when I see people shaking their tail feathers really proud of who they are. Good. We need more of those. And less of the people that don't want to say that 2020 was a good year for them. Oh, if I say that, I might. Someone might be offended. Go to bed. I am very, I was not in charge of your experience. This is my experience. Take ownership of yours so you don't have to knock down mine.

Chase: That's a mic drop moment right there. Go back and rewind a few seconds and listen to that again. 

Angelo: Why aren't you proud of it? Like you? Did you use to paint a picture at school? And you just wanted to put it on the fridge at home? Right? Because you were proud of it? Why should you be proud of what you contribute or who? Like we should be proud. We should be a society of proud people. 

Chase: Is that it? Do you think is that the limiting factor or perhaps one of the biggest limiting factors that is keeping us from stepping in and owning that moment of peacocking like you're saying, is it less the self-esteem like we're talking about in the beginning? Is it less of how we evaluate our own worthiness? And are we actually are we the man versus outside opinion? We're letting so much of the outside opinion of other people of society of other men kind of dictate how much ownership we can actually take on our life. 

Angelo: Very good. What a great question. Depending on the culture, and, you know, just you're growing up oftentimes, people say when you're when you're sharing a, something that you've done well, and that you're proud of, is that be humble. Stop bragging it has a negative connotation.

Chase: I'll be honest, that's been more my upbringing, too. I struggle a lot with like, fully owning accomplishments. Yeah, it feels like no, shut up, sit down. 

Angelo: So what do you do in hog in the room will get, you know, gave you the bell to speak or whatever. And that's the problem is a lot of our culture has been presented around that, like, you could go in the bathroom right now and clean the mirror. And you should feel proud of yourself, how well you clean the mirror. And recognize yourself that there's no streaks on there. And savor in that moment. Why wouldn't you want to be that way? Why wouldn't you want to give yourself that recognition and praise? Why wouldn't you want to share after you've done? If you were a gardener, you had a beautiful garden? Wouldn't you want people to see your beautiful work like, and really just all come by my house, you have to try one of my tomatoes is so delicious. I can't wait to share with you right? And instead, people want to bottle that up and put that down. And then all of a sudden, everyone's you know, like, you brought up mental health like just, well, we're not even allowed to be technically, society has not permitted us to actually be happy. Here's a prime example. My wife and I were joking about this. I've been on an 80s and 90s comedy binge. And what I realized is there are no things that many things that are coming out right now, because of how sensitive some people could be about joking. Yeah, we're not allowed to laugh. Like, we watched the original Naked Gun. Okay, I'm talking pretty good. The other day, we watch Major League, like just amazing, like, called classic comics, comedy movies, and we're laughing. And so this idea of like, laughter and joy, really, even from an entertainment perspective, is just a reflection of us. By the way, everyone, we're only creating writers only writing into the world that they are living and it's just, oh, this is we should laugh. We should be proud of what we do. Right? And, and because I'm laughing about this doesn't necessarily mean that I believe that if something was there that read deeper, right? And this over sensitivity to our words, when the truth is in life for me. And I don't know how this could be argued. The only really thing that ever matters at the end of the day is your actions. Say whatever you want, post wherever you want, wherever you want. If you're not going to get up and do it and do it consistently your words are worthless. Don't tell someone you missed them if you could see them you're silly you're in congruent you're not living the life of integrity. How many times do I miss you I'm like what do you want to get on a FaceTime resume last week and then you ever have the message is go completely radio silent 

Chase: Don't even get me started that's like that's honestly I'm so glad you bring that up. I think this is a really unique way to look at like your worth and how you're showing up in the world and more importantly how you are contributing to the lives of other people. It that's honestly how I've been like filtering out and not like cutting people off not sound harsh, but just filtering out my energy of who gets how much of my energy and my wife's and my friends is when that happens is when that you'll we should hang out and miss you haven't seen you in forever. Oh, cool. I'm free next Thursday at two and next Saturday at 10am. And then it's like two weeks of nothingness. And just like don't are you bullshitting me are you actually bullshitting me or is it just coincidental that every frickin time? It just gets to like, you're saying something that you probably don't really mean? Right? 

Angelo: And so for me, I'm a bottom line person, you say something, let's just get to the action. You know, and I'm tired of the people like once I get to the action, you would think less. So you could read a text read 12:58 12:59 13:00, 1315 like we're flowing, and then you send that 1315 did they send the message at 1301 and just chuck their phone four miles? Right, isn't it we're looking at. That's the reality. And now when we're looking at society beyond just men, what we're really lacking energetically, is a positive, beautiful sense of the masculine. Because that is taking action. Showing integrity, showing up how you say you're going to this is what's lacking. You don't believe me? No, no one trusts anyone anymore. I don't care who you voted for. No one would really irregardless of me. I chose to be bought time when they give me their political stance. I go cool. Biden, Trump, who's watching your kids? Neither? Well, well, then what? Well, then why would you even tell me who to vote for? You don't really believe in them. You just believe you just want to see the other person lose? Well, then you're a loser yourself. Because you're not cheering for betterment, and you are cheering for someone to lose your loser. interesting perspective, right? Like I are messy. Do I? Who do you trust your watch your kids? No one? Neither? Well, why would you ever go? And you know, send in your ballot form that? Like, why would you even entertain this subject, if you don't feel that call to being that way. And so what we're lacking in society is a beautiful positive model of masculine energy. Showing up how we say we're going to show up, doesn't mean that you're perfect. Yet the most important thing is, is being proactive when we don't show up. And that means the second, I am driving here from San Clemente, I look at my navigation, and we have a 1230 appointment. And it says 1235 the second I get in that car, I messaged you, Chase, there's a chance that I may be five minutes behind, proactive, I'm prepared. And I help you see that before the incident comes. Because after that, we are reactive. Proactivity there's a we; reactivity, theirs is two Is or opposition. We're already broken. We already broke. Yeah. And this is what this world needs right now. And for me as a practitioner of this. You only heal this problem. one person at a time. Yeah, I wish I could just sprinkle a wand yet. Here's the thing is one man being better means that a ripple effect of that one other men being better. Great. That means one more man's a better husband. That means one more man's a better father than is a global tribe. We have more trust. We have integrity. Right. You know, and that's what we don't have right now in our culture. How many people that you up on Instagram with the greatest business deals of your life? How much do you spend looking at the opportunity or wondering if you could just trust the person? Oh, it's always just uh, who is this? Who is the person? You're doing homework. You want to call a cop and go Wait, can you run this guy? record like you trying to figure out who is actually trustworthy, when tribally that was never an issue 1000s of years ago? Because the tribe knew you had you had some sort of adherence to your tribe. One of the big parts of our animal brain is that we will be kicked out of the tribe if we don't have that. Right there are consequences to you not showing up. Who has real consequences today? We don't we pardon everyone, with nothing unscathed. People don't show up constantly for things that they're supposed to do. And there are no consequences. 

Chase: I mean, think about the example we're just talking about, of, I miss you love you want to see you. And then you just get away with making the assumption here that you're not really intentional, and you're just saying it, and then you get away with it. Like there's no consequence to feeding in pouring into somebody else. And on the on the receiving end of that there's a lot going on. It's this person sees me, they need me, they want me we have a friendship, we have a relationship. I'm making all these assumptions about what we have, when in reality, you're just being selfish, you're not being truthful. You're not being intentional, you're being flippant with other people's lives and emotions, and maybe reading into this a little bit too much sometimes. But if this goes on long enough, you know, that's, that's your characteristic. And there are no consequences to that. Right. And then when you do finally say something or, you know, ghost them in return, whatever, it's, you know, more often than not that person is like, Yo, what the hell? What the hell and then like, they try to flip it on you. 

Angelo: What's the big deal? Why are you overreacting? And why are you taking this personally? Because take ownership of your bullshit too many gangsters, not enough gangsters. Don't there's the title. Just come out. Where have all the you know, there was that song I tell my wife we joke about, like, Where have all the cowboy's gone? The people that showing up, really mattered and like having a sense of character. It's the idea out in the external world, is I would rather be respected than liked. I want my family to like me, really, I do, but then the outside world I want people to respect me. Because that's my reputation again, right? That I would rather the world respect me. And see me as someone to me respect is an integration of three things love admiration, and just that little fear. Because, you know, sometimes people wouldn't mean fear. It's not being abundant. All this stuff, guys, we're two thirds animal. Our brain is two thirds animal, lizard, ape, and then we get to be a human sorry, the majority of us make decisions based off some sort of fears. The world cannot not have them. We need them. They keep things in line. They're like the bumpers. Like when kids go bowling, right? They just help us stay there. And if someone respects you, they should love you. Right, Admire you in some way. And also know that, hey, if I don't do this person, right, there may be consequences. And I'm not saying everything, you know, needs to go to that level right in a place where, what are the consequences? If I don't do something? Do I suffer just the relationship with you? That I covered our relationship that much. That fear keeps me from not showing up in a certain way. What's wrong with that? 

Chase: I think you're very accurately describing the model the situation the relationship that I had with my father, it was there was so much love and admiration, just the right amount of fear. And I mean, my dad never laid a hand on me. But I always knew that whatever the consequences were, they were at a level that I feared them. And it but it was always love admiration and the just so much respect because of that, that that fear was enough to just keep that that line going. 

Angelo: whatever happened to the greatest thing a mother could ever tell a kid to get them in like, I am going to tell your daddy. My dad was in jail shape, and he would call every Tuesday collect at 1630 and If I was bad, I still begged my mom this guy was incarcerated 10 states away, I would still beg her so I would not get the verbal ban that day. Just please tell daddy, I will, I will fix this. Don't tell him that I did whatever. Right? Don't tell him that I was hitting golf balls in my yard and just went across the neighbor's windows like a jerk. I'll do everything you want. Just don't tell daddy, right? Like there is none of that. And then no wonder there's so much chaos or disorder, and lack of that right now. And that's what our society looks like. And so also for me, that's why I push so much towards this better embodiment of masculine energy and understanding and accepting it and not trying to wish it away. Or use terms like toxic where there's toxic femininity, which really is mental health, mental health disorder. If people really wanted to break it down, I would venture to say this world would be better off without toxic femininity than toxic masculinity. I would rather have a bully outside of me than my bully inside of me. Because I could move away from the bully outside of me first. So for me, you want to know where I sit on the fence, right. And I'm not saying this is men or women, because men obviously have mental health issues. I'm bringing this back to this idea of frequencies of just energy dynamics, which we broke down earlier, which was self and the external world. 

Chase: Angelo, one other question comes to my mind, that's been so great having you here just to kind of breaking down this definition of the masculine self, and hopefully kind of calling some attention to and bringing awareness to guys out there and women as well, guys and women listening for the men and women in your life. If it's not you, I think there's some great value to be had here. When we're talking all the things we've been talking about, and we've mentioned this word a few times. And that's model. So when we're talking about creating a more in tune, a more aware masculine model? Is it really that simple, of collectively working towards a model that all men can do or even say, should follow? Or is it just every man has to create a model for themself? Is there a one that we all should be striving for? Is it is it super individual? Or maybe a blend? 

Angelo: All right, what a great question. Fundamentally, at its highest level, that thing I just walked everyone through earlier, the opportunity awareness, moving through all that is there, how you do it, how long you stay there, to style, that's all an expression, I exhibited a certain way you do it, right. The whole thing is about becoming unapologetically authentically you. So how you will express it will be different than mine. The dance to get there, though, the journey to get there to heaven, you know, or just our idea of heaven on earth, that joyful alignment is all the same. So imagine that we all go to the train station. All the trains are going to the same place. You just go on the train that's playing the movie and serving the drinks that you like more. I like the sound of that right there. But we're all coaches, humans. We're all trying to go to the same place. Just your vibe, what you feel like depending on how you grew up, all those kind of things. So like, I walk around with Versace Biggie glasses, because one I love Biggie and two when I was a young kid growing up in the 90s 10, 11, 12, 13. That's where all the cool people in their late 20s and 30s are aware. So that's my idea of as your model right now, for you. Wherever you grew up, whatever style you appreciate. I'm not arguing over expression. Okay, that is completely individualized and of choice, that's external. I'm talking about the internal path. The internal journey is the same for everyone. How long it takes. Race to the starting line. All of those other things that's external. That's up for any one's expression any, like that's going to be expressed differently. But those stages that I mentioned, you can skip any. If you do, you'll be an ultimate doer without feelings, which is, as an entrepreneur, I'm sure you've seen it lived it. I have, we got really good at doing things. Then we looked around and we forgot our hearts about two miles back, please say that again? Yeah, guy, right. We become great at doing ultimate doers. Task List killers. Trello. Board murderous. Right. But then you look around and go, I'm not happy because you forgot your heart, then there's too many people or some people that lives so much in their hearts and their thoughts. And they never start. They don't take the action 

Chase: knowers and not doers, right doers, and not knowers.

Angelo: Right. And so there's all that exchange to go through yet, we're all looking to get to this place. And so what we need to do will be a little bit different for us how we express it will be a little bit different than us yet, that's the recipe. 

Chase: Well, I can get on board that recipe, man. Hopefully everybody listening can too and just realize like, just, it's all your own ingredients, you know, it's coming together at your own pace based on your own awareness and how much ownership and radical responsibility you want to take for your life. And in doing so, and I wanted to kind of bring this point up earlier, I just remembered your example of, of like owning something, or not wanting to share it out not wanting to like, look at what I did look at what I accomplish. And I say this with extreme confidence now because in doing in not doing so, I think is one of the greatest services to your immediate network to immediate community to the world. Because of you Angelo me Chase if we are in our truth and doing and creating something that is so abundant and so fulfilling. There is something universal in there. Because you're a man, I'm a man, you're a human, I'm a human. It is a damn shame and a disservice and a disgrace to not share that with the world. Because I guarantee you at least one other person is going to click with that so much is going to change their life. So it's just like, own it for the sake of serving the greater good. The more you work on yourself, the more you own your accomplishments and create the recipe like you're talking, then like that spills out. And that's the change that we all need in one 

Angelo: talk about a mic drop, you know, you should want to share your party. Like, yeah, my son, every time he learned something new. So right now it's jumping. He's one and a half years old, figure out how to jump. He cannot wait to get my attention and show me that he could jump. I don't want to have to tell him to do that. But then one day, not me, because I'm gonna put gasoline on there. I'm like, dude, how long we sit here for four hours, cool, keep jumping. But like someone may go, stop showing off. Stop doing that to a little young person. 

Chase: That's not cool. That's not important. I don't have time for that.

Angelo: Imagine what that what that's really doing there. And so many of us have done that. You know what this is really this brings up one great point. Men, oftentimes, when I speak with them, have a hard time connecting with their feminine, because it was shunned early on in life. And here's a really good example. I embrace art. I embraced as a child drawing stuff like that. And then kind of left it alone, because I didn't feel you know, I wasn't taught that that was cool or masculine, or someone judged my art. Like someone you went to art, you went to art class, you drew something and the teacher was like, that's crap. And then all of a sudden, your heart was told it was crap. How you express yourself is crap how you connect to your inner most beauty. Your creators crap. Like when people are like, yeah, you're a bad dancer I'm like, wait, this is between me the music 

Chase: I am that white guy out in the dance with no rhythm. I but I love it. I love it. It's just like, you can't tell me that what I'm doing and gives me so much joy and fulfillment and release. Is anything other than amazing? Like, screw off. 

Angelo: Yeah, that's why most guys don't dance. My kid dude beat it. I don't care what this looks like, got the armpits everywhere full sweat and that oftentimes for men, that labeling early on in their life stops them from going into that inner woman that's inside all of us that creator that art that artist. And that's something that I really hope gets removed more and more. And I encourage men to then, you know, discover that artistic party and that creator that connector, food, you know, just whatever that is. Because the more you're in touch with that, it's easier than to actually talk get in touch with yourself. 

Chase: any situation where you can take nothing and create something? Like the perfect example in the kitchen with food on a piece of paper with watercolor with a pencil like any situation where you can start with nothingness and create anything like, I promise you there's a carryover into so many every other area of your life. Well Angelo man, this has been great. Appreciate you love your insight. I love your, your perspective. And I love everything. And you and the whole crew are doing down at alpha hippie and I'm gonna make sure to link my episode with you guys and everything. All the work that you're doing down there, everybody's gonna find out more about. So I got one final question for you, man. And I think it's very, very in tune here with what you're doing. And it's you know, you've been talking about how we can do things to have awareness and then do and then to advance. And that's exactly what I mean when I say live a life ever forward. So I'm curious, how does that fall on you today? Man? What does that mean to you? How do you live a life ever forward? 

Angelo: Be a witness so you could do awareness. Without it there is no room forward. That's it. You witness yourself. So you could have awareness, then you have a chance to move ever forward. 

Chase: Love it. Love that man. It's like, sometimes the biggest things we need to hear or we do here are just nothing more than they need to be. And that's what it was for me, man. So thank you. Like I said, we're gonna have all of your information down in the show notes and video notes for everybody. But where can they go to learn more about you connect with you online? What are you doing these days? 

Angelo: Sure of everything is under I am Alpha Hippie. And truth be told I'm not a much instagrammer but if you need me, Angelo Sisco. I repost a lot of the podcast stuff or something that I really find funny. It's for me, it's funny, you know, I love to just, you know, smoke a joint, go grocery shopping and just laugh at stuff. You know, I'll be truthful, okay, and, or find funny things in the world. I want to laugh and smile as much as I can because it's better than just be frowning.

Chase: miserable, like, biochemically it's, it's not good. 

Angelo: I appreciate you so much for having me. My pleasure homie and a pleasure and thank you for sharing with me your beautiful audience. 

Chase: my pleasure and love to reconnect and you got some big things in the works. And once they're done, we'll have to do it up right again.